编者按：《荷塘月色》是中国文学家朱自清任教清华大学时所写的一篇散文，因收入中学语文教材而广为人知，是现代抒情散文的名篇。朱纯深先生的《荷塘月色》译本是这篇名作诸多译本中不可多得的优秀译作之一，巧妙地从整体上把握了原作的音韵美和意境美。
荷塘月色
Moonlight over the Lotus Pond
朱自清
Zhu Ziqing
这几天心里颇不宁睁。今晚在院子里坐着乘凉，忽然想起日日走过的荷塘，在这满月的光里，总该另有一番样子吧。月亮渐渐地升高了，墙外马路上孩子们的欢笑，已经听不见了;妻在屋里拍着闰儿，迷迷糊糊地哼着眠歌。我悄悄地披了大衫，带上门出去。
It has been rather disquieting these days. Tonight, when I was sitting in the yard enjoying the cool, it occurred to me that the Lotus Pond, which I pass by every day, must assume quite a different look in such moonlit night. A full moon was rising high in the sky; the laughter of children playing outside had died away; in the room, my wife was patting the son, Run-er, sleepily humming a cradle song. Shrugging on an overcoat, quietly, 1 made my way out, closing the door behind me.
沿着荷塘是一条曲折的小煤屑路。这是一条幽僻的路;白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，翁翁郁郁的。路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。
赏析：
沿着荷塘，是一条曲折的小煤屑路。这是一条幽僻的路;白天也少人走，夜晚更加寂寞。荷塘四面，长着许多树，蓊蓊郁郁的。
Alongside the Lotus Pond runs a small cinder footpath. It is peaceful and secluded here, a place not frequented by pedestrians even in the daytime; now at night, it looks more solitary, in a lush, shady ambience of trees all around the pond.
处理“蓊蓊郁郁”这一叠词，译者使用lush, shady来表现，其中前后相连的卷舌音"sh"从音韵上模仿了原文。
路的一旁，是些杨柳，和一些不知道名字的树。没有月光的晚上，这路上阴森森的，有些怕人。今晚却很好，虽然月光也还是淡淡的。
On he side where the path is, there are willows, interlaced with some others whose names I do not know. The foliage, which, in a moonless night, would loom somewhat frighteningly dark, looks very nice tonight, although the moonlight is not more than a thin, greyish veil.
有没有注意到，描写景物时汉文倾向于用形容词，而英文偏抽象的名词，“月光也还是淡淡的”被处理成“a thin greyish veil”，强化了一种难以言喻的朦胧感。
路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。这一片天地好像是我的;我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。
I am on my own, strolling, hands behind my back. This bit of the universe seems in my possession now; and I myself seem to have been uplifted from my ordinary self into another world.
这一片天地好像是我的：This bit of universe seems in my possession now是不是有浮士德的影子?
我爱热闹，也爱冷静;爱群居，也爱独处。像今晚上，一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉是个自由的人。白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都可不理。
I like a serene and peaceful life, as much as in company. As it is tonight, basking in a misty mooshine all by myself, I feel I am a free man, free to think of anything, or of nothing. All tht one is obliged to do, or to say, in the daytime, can be very well cast aside now.
“bask in”(沐浴在)是译者根据理解增添的意象。
这是独处的妙处，我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了。
That is the beauty of being alone. For the moment, just let me indulge in this profusion of moonlight and lotus fragrance.
"The profusion of"又是形容词抽象化为名词的例证，这的确是汉译英中一种常用的手法。
曲曲折折的荷塘上面，弥望的是田田的叶子。叶子出水很高，像亭亭的舞女的裙。
All over this winding stretch of water, what meets the eye is a silken field of leaves, reaching rather high above the surface, like the skirts of dancing girls in all their grace.
这句的难点是“田田”和“亭亭”二词。田田，形容荷叶相连、盛密的样子，又引申出形容鲜碧的、浓郁的意思，这里借喻了丝软的意象是否贴切，读者自己去体会。“亭亭”的翻译很到位，英文中很常用的说法。
叶子本是肩并肩密密地挨着，这便宛然有了一道凝碧的波痕。叶子底下是脉脉的流水，遮住了，不能见一些颜色;而叶子却更见风致了。
The leaves, which have been standing shoulder to shoulder, are caught trembling in an emerald heave of the pond. Underneath, the exquisite water is covered from view, and none can tell its colour; yet the leaves on top project themselves all the more attractively.
用project这一主动的用法处理“叶子却更见风致”，比“looks more attractive”更能表达叶子搔首弄姿的风情。
月光如流水一般，静静地泻在这一片叶子和花上。薄薄的青雾浮起在荷塘里。叶子和花仿佛在牛乳中洗过一样;又像笼着轻纱的梦。
The moon sheds her liquid light silently over the leaves and flowers, which, in the floating transparency of a bluish haze from the pond, look as if they had just been bathed in milk, or like a dream wrapped in a gauzy hood.
朱自清最美的一句话仔细想来却模棱两可，月亮把流水般的月光泻在叶子上似乎更和逻辑，这就是朱纯深的想法。floating transparency又是抽象名词，把一个动词短句“青雾浮在荷塘里”处理为一个短语“in the...transparency”插入在大的从句中，把汉语珍珠罗玉盘般的短句美成功转化为英语从句套从句的链式美。
虽然是满月，天上却有一层淡淡的云，所以不能朗照;但我以为这恰是到了好处——酣眠固不可少，小睡也别有风味的。
Although it is a full moon, shining through a film of clouds, the light is not at its brightest; it is, however, just right for me -- a profound sleep is indispensable, yet a snatched doze also has a savour of its own.
A film of clouds，形容词名词化。
树色一例是阴阴的，乍看像一团烟雾;但杨柳的丰姿，便在烟雾里也辨得出。
The shadowy shapes of the leafage at first sight seem diffused into a mass of mist, against which, however, the charm of those willow trees is still discernible.
找出汉语中松散的短句间的逻辑或空间结构，将之串成长句，是英语翻译的功夫，一般的翻译可能会这样处理：The leafage is shadwoy. It seems like a mass of mist. But the charm of those willow trees is discernible in the mist. 这就显得啰嗦也不够地道了。
忽然想起采莲的事情来了。采莲是江南的旧俗，似乎很早就有，而六朝时为盛。
Suddenly, something like lotus-gathering crosses my mind. It used to be celebrated as a folk festival in the South, probably dating very far back in history, most popular in the period of Six Dynasties.
“江南”究竟应该如何译是一个值得专题讨论的问题，在一篇散文中，纠结于江南的地理概念是没有必要的，所以译者只是大体译出了方位，以免破坏行文的美。
那是一个热闹的季节，也是一个风流的季节。梁元帝《采莲赋》里说得好：
It was a lively season, brimming with vitality, and romance. A brilliant description can be found in Lotus Gathering written by Yuan Emperor of the Liang Dynasty:
风流如何翻译也是个问题，在不同的地方，“风流”的意思的差别不小。想想看，“风流女人”“数风流人物”“名士自风流”“风流倜傥”“黛玉身体面庞虽怯弱不胜，却有一段自然的风流态度”这些词语中的风流都是一个意思吗?风流的季节又是什么意思呢?译者综合了青春和浪漫两层意思来形容，你觉得言尽其意了吗?
“于是妖童媛女，荡舟心许;鷁首徐回，兼传羽杯;棹将移而藻挂，船欲动而萍开。
So those charming youngsters row their sampans, heart buoyant with tacit love, pass on to each other cups of wine while their bird-shaped prows drift around. From time to time their oars are caught in dangling algae, and duckweed float apart the moment their boats are about to move on.
译者在处理“荡舟心许”时，花了不少心思，用“buoyant”表达了“舟荡而心荡，遂许于他人”的过程。
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