中英对照文本So sometimes I get angry,
所以有时候我很生气，
and it took me many years to be able to say just those words.
我花了很多年才说出这些话。
In my work,
在我的工作中，
sometimes my body thrums, I'm so enraged.
有时候我的身体会狂跳，我很生气。
But no matter how justified my anger has been,
但不管我的愤怒有多有道理，
throughout my life,
在我的一生中，
I've always been led to understand that my anger is an exaggeration,
我总是被引导去理解我的愤怒是夸张的，
a misrepresentation,
虚假陈述，
that it will make me rude and unlikable.
它会让我变得粗鲁和不讨人喜欢。
Mainly as a girl, I learned, as a girl, that anger is an emotion
主要是作为一个女孩，我了解到，作为一个女孩，愤怒是一种情感
better left entirely unvoiced.
最好不要说话。
Think about my mother for a minute.
想想我妈妈。
When I was 15, I came home from school one day,
当我15岁的时候，有一天我从学校回家，
and she was standing on a long veranda outside of our kitchen,
她站在我们厨房外面的一条长长的走廊上，
holding a giant stack of plates.
手里拿着一大堆盘子。
Imagine how dumbfounded I was when she started to throw them like Frisbees...
想象一下，当她开始像飞盘一样扔球时，我是多么的震惊。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
into the hot, humid air.
又热又潮湿的空气里。
When every single plate had shattered into thousands of pieces
当所有的盘子都粉碎成成千上万的碎片
on the hill below,
在下面的山上，
she walked back in and she said to me, cheerfully, "How was your day?"
她走了进来，高兴地对我说："你今天过得怎么样？"
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Now you can see how a child would look at an incident like this
现在你可以看到一个孩子是如何看待这样的事件的
and think that anger is silent, isolating, destructive, even frightening.
认为愤怒是无声的，孤立的，破坏性的，甚至是可怕的。
Especially though when the person who's angry is a girl or a woman.
尤其是当生气的人是女孩或女人的时候。
The question is why.
问题是为什么。
Anger is a human emotion, neither good nor bad.
愤怒是一种人类的情感，既不是好的也不是坏的。
It is actually a signal emotion.
它实际上是一种信号情感。
It warns us of indignity, threat, insult and harm.
它警告我们侮辱、威胁、侮辱和伤害。
And yet, in culture after culture, anger is reserved as the moral property
然而，在一个又一个文化中，愤怒被保留为道德财产
of boys and men.
关于男孩和男人的。
Now, to be sure, there are differences.
现在，可以肯定的是，存在着差异。
So in the United States, for example,
例如，在美国，
an angry black man is viewed as a criminal,
一个愤怒的黑人被认为是罪犯，
but an angry white man has civic virtue.
但是一个愤怒的白人有公民的美德。
Regardless of where we are, however, the emotion is gendered.
然而，无论我们身在何处，情感都是性别的。
And so we teach children to disdain anger in girls and women,
所以我们教孩子们蔑视女孩和女人的愤怒，
and we grow up to be adults that penalize it.
我们长大后就成了惩罚它的成年人。
So what if we didn't do that?
如果我们没那么做呢？
What if we didn't sever anger from femininity?
如果我们不消除对女性的愤怒呢？
Because severing anger from femininity means we sever girls and women
因为切断对女性的愤怒意味着我们切断女孩和女人
from the emotion that best protects us from injustice.
从最能保护我们不受不公正待遇的情感中解脱出来。
What if instead we thought about developing emotional competence
如果我们考虑发展情感能力
for boys and girls?
为了男孩和女孩？
The fact is we still remarkably socialize children
但事实是我们还是把孩子们社会化了
in very binary and oppositional ways.
以非常二元和对立的方式。
Boys are held to absurd, rigid norms of masculinity --
男孩子受到荒谬的、僵化的阳刚之气规范的束缚-
told to renounce the feminine emotionality of sadness or fear
他被告知要放弃悲伤或恐惧的女性情感
and to embrace aggression and anger as markers of real manhood.
把侵略和愤怒作为真正男子汉气概的标志。
On the other hand, girls learn to be deferential,
另一方面，女孩学会了尊重别人，
and anger is incompatible with deference.
愤怒和顺从是不相容的。
In the same way that we learned to cross our legs and tame our hair,
就像我们学会了交叉双腿和驯服头发一样，
we learned to bite our tongues and swallow our pride.
我们学会了咬紧牙关，咽下我们的骄傲。
What happens too often is that for all of us,
经常发生的事情是，对我们所有人来说，
indignity becomes imminent in our notions of femininity.
在我们的女性观念中，侮辱变得迫在眉睫。
There's a long personal and political tale to that bifurcation.
关于这个分歧有一个很长的个人和政治故事。
In anger, we go from being spoiled princesses and hormonal teens,
在愤怒中，我们不再是被宠坏的公主和荷尔蒙过剩的青少年，
to high maintenance women and shrill, ugly nags.
高保养的女人和尖叫，丑陋的唠叨。
We have flavors, though; pick your flavor.
不过，我们有口味； 尝尝你的味道。
Are you a spicy hot Latina when you're mad?
你疯了的时候是个辣辣的拉丁人吗？
Or a sad Asian girl? An angry black woman? Or a crazy white one?
或者一个悲伤的亚洲女孩？ 一个愤怒的黑人女人？ 或者是一个疯狂的白人？
You can pick.
你挑吧。
But in fact, the effect is that when we say what's important to us,
但事实上，结果是当我们说什么对我们来说很重要的时候，
which is what anger is conveying,
这就是愤怒所传达的信息，
people are more likely to get angry at us for being angry.
人们更容易因为我们生气而生我们的气。
Whether we're at home or in school or at work or in a political arena,
不管是在家里，在学校，在工作，还是在政治舞台上，
anger confirms masculinity, and it confounds femininity.
愤怒证实了男子气概，也混淆了女性气质。
So men are rewarded for displaying it,
所以男人们会因为展示它而得到奖励，
and women are penalized for doing the same.
女人也会因为做同样的事而受到惩罚。
This puts us at an enormous disadvantage,
这使我们处于极大的劣势，
particularly when we have to defend ourselves and our own interests.
尤其是当我们必须保护自己和自己的利益的时候。
If we're faced with a threatening street harasser, predatory employer,
如果我们面对威胁的街头骚扰者，掠夺者雇主，
a sexist, racist classmate,
有性别歧视，种族歧视的同学，
our brains are screaming, "Are you kidding me?"
我们的大脑在尖叫，"你在开玩笑吗？"
And our mouths say, "I'm sorry, what?"
我们的嘴说，"对不起，什么？"
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Right?
对吧？
And it's conflicting because the anger gets all tangled up
它是矛盾的，因为愤怒被纠缠在一起
with the anxiety and the fear and the risk and retaliation.
带着焦虑、恐惧、风险和报复。
If you ask women what they fear the most in response to their anger,
如果你问女人最害怕的是什么来回应她们的愤怒，
they don't say violence.
他们没说暴力。
They say mockery.
他们说是嘲笑。
Think about what that means.
想想这意味着什么。
If you have multiple marginalized identities, it's not just mockery.
如果你有多个被边缘化的身份，这不仅仅是嘲笑。
If you defend yourself, if you put a stake in the ground,
如果你为自己辩护，如果你把赌注压在地上，
there can be dire consequences.
可能会有可怕的后果。
Now we reproduce these patterns not in big, bold and blunt ways,
现在我们不以大的、大胆的和直率的方式复制这些模式，
but in the everyday banality of life.
但在日常生活中.
When my daughter was in preschool, every single morning
我女儿上幼儿园的时候，每天早上
she built an elaborate castle -- ribbons and blocks --
她建造了一座精致的城堡--缎带和街区--
and every single morning the same boy knocked it down gleefully.
每天早晨，同一个男孩都兴高采烈地把它打倒在地。
His parents were there, but they never intervened before the fact.
他的父母在那里，但他们从来没有干预之前的事实。
They were happy to provide platitudes afterwards:
之后，他们很高兴地讲出了一些陈词滥调：
"Boys will be boys."
"男孩就是男孩。"
"It's so tempting, he just couldn't help himself."
"太诱人了，他就是忍不住。"
I did what many girls and women learn to do.
我做了很多女孩和女人学做的事。
I preemptively kept the peace,
我先发制人地维持了和平，
and I taught my daughter to do the same thing.
我教我女儿做同样的事。
She used her words.
她用了她的话。
She tried to gently body block him.
她试着轻轻地用身体挡住他。
She moved where she was building in the classroom, to no effect.
她搬到了她正在教室里建的地方，但没有效果。
So I and the other adults mutually constructed a particular male entitlement.
所以我和其他成年人共同建立了一种特殊的男性权利。
He could run rampant and control the environment,
他可以横冲直撞控制环境，
and she kept her feelings to herself and worked around his needs.
她把自己的感情藏在心里，努力满足他的需要。
We failed both of them by not giving her anger the uptake
我们都失败了，因为我们没有让她生气
and resolution that it deserved.
以及它应得的决心。
Now that's a microcosm of a much bigger problem.
这是一个更大问题的缩影。
Because culturally, worldwide,
因为在文化上，在世界范围内，
we preference the performance of masculinity --
我们更喜欢男性化的表演--
and the power and privilege that come with that performance --
以及表演带来的力量和特权-
over the rights and needs and words of children and women.
关于儿童和妇女的权利、需要和言论。
So it will come as absolutely no surprise, probably, to the people in this room
所以对这个房间里的人来说，这一点都不奇怪
that women report being angrier in more sustained ways and with more intensity
女人会以更持久的方式和更强烈的方式来表达她们的愤怒
than men do.
比男人做的还多。
Some of that comes from the fact that we're socialized to ruminate,
其中一些来自于我们被社会化到沉思的事实，
to keep it to ourselves and mull it over.
把它留给我们自己好好想想。
But we also have to find socially palatable ways
但我们也必须找到社会上可以接受的方法
to express the intensity of emotion that we have
为了表达我们强烈的情感
and the awareness that it brings of our precarity.
以及它给我们带来的早熟感。
So we do several things.
所以我们做了几件事情。
If men knew how often women were filled with white hot rage when we cried,
如果男人知道我们哭的时候女人有多少次充满了白热化的愤怒，
they would be staggered.
他们会被绊倒的。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
We use minimizing language.
我们用最小化语言。
"We're frustrated. No, really, it's OK."
"我们很沮丧。不，真的，没关系。"
(Laughter)
（笑声）
We self-objectify and lose the ability
我们自我对象化，失去了能力
to even recognize the physiological changes that indicate anger.
甚至能识别出表示愤怒的生理变化。
Mainly, though, we get sick.
不过，主要是我们生病了。
Anger has now been implicated in a whole array of illnesses
愤怒现在已经涉及到一系列的疾病
that are casually dismissed as "women's illnesses."
他们被随意地斥为"妇女的疾病"。
Higher rates of chronic pain, autoimmune disorders, disordered eating,
更高的慢性疼痛，自身免疫性疾病，饮食紊乱，
mental distress, anxiety, self harm, depression.
精神痛苦，焦虑，自我伤害，抑郁。
Anger affects our immune systems, our cardiovascular systems.
愤怒影响我们的免疫系统，心血管系统。
Some studies even indicate that it affects mortality rates,
一些研究甚至表明它会影响死亡率，
particularly in black women with cancer.
尤其是那些身患癌症的黑人女性。
I am sick and tired of the women I know being sick and tired.
我对我认识的那些又病又累的女人感到厌倦。
Our anger brings great discomfort,
我们的愤怒会带来极大的不适，
and the conflict comes because it's our role to bring comfort.
而冲突的发生是因为我们的角色是带来安慰。
There is anger that's acceptable.
愤怒是可以接受的。
We can be angry when we stay in our lanes and buttress the status quo.
当我们呆在自己的车道上巩固现状时，我们可能会生气。
As mothers or teachers,
作为母亲或教师，
we can be mad, but we can't be angry about the tremendous costs of nurturing.
我们可能会生气，但我们不能因为养育孩子的巨大代价而生气。
We can be angry at our mothers.
我们可以生妈妈的气。
Let's say, as teenagers -- patriarchal rules and regulations --
比如说，作为青少年--家长式的规章制度--
we don't blame systems, we blame them.
我们不责怪系统，我们责怪他们。
We can be angry at other women, because who doesn't love a good catfight?
我们可以生其他女人的气，因为谁不喜欢打架？
And we can be angry at men with lower status in an expressive hierarchy
我们可以对那些在表达等级中地位较低的人感到愤怒
that supports racism or xenophobia.
支持种族主义或仇外心理。
But we have an enormous power in this.
但我们有巨大的力量。
Because feelings are the purview of our authority,
因为感情是我们权力的范围，
and people are uncomfortable with our anger.
人们对我们的愤怒感到不舒服。
We should be making people comfortable with the discomfort they feel
我们应该让人们对他们所感受到的不舒服感到舒服
when women say no, unapologetically.
当女人说不的时候，不要道歉。
We can take emotions and think in terms of competence and not gender.
我们可以感情用事，用能力而不是性别来思考。
People who are able to process their anger and make meaning from it
有能力处理他们的愤怒并从中获得意义的人
are more creative, more optimistic,
更有创造力，更乐观，
they have more intimacy,
他们更亲密，
they're better problem solvers,
他们是更好的解决问题的人，
they have greater political efficacy.
他们的政治效率更高。
Now I am a woman writing about women and feelings,
现在我是一个写女人和感情的女人，
so very few men with power
所以很少有有有权力的人
are going to take what I'm saying seriously, as a matter of politics.
会认真对待我所说的，作为一个政治问题。
We think of politics and anger in terms of the contempt and disdain and fury
我们把政治和愤怒看成是轻蔑、轻蔑和愤怒
that are feeding a rise of macho-fascism in the world.
这助长了世界上机器法西斯主义的兴起。
But if it's that poison, it's also the antidote.
但如果是毒药，那也是解药。
We have an anger of hope, and we see it every single day
我们有一种希望的愤怒，我们每天都能看到它
in the resistant anger of women and marginalized people.
在女性和边缘人群的反抗愤怒中。
It's related to compassion and empathy and love,
它与同情、同情和爱有关，
and we should recognize that anger as well.
我们也应该意识到这种愤怒。
The issue is that societies that don't respect women's anger don't respect women.
问题是不尊重女性愤怒的社会不尊重女性。
The real danger of our anger isn't that it will break bonds or plates.
我们愤怒的真正危险不是它会破坏债券或盘子。
It's that it exactly shows how seriously we take ourselves,
它恰恰显示了我们对自己的重视程度，
and we expect other people to take us seriously as well.
我们希望其他人也能认真对待我们。
When that happens, chances are very good
当那发生的时候，机会是很好的
that women will be able to smile when they want to.
女人想笑的时候就能笑。
(Applause)
（掌声）
Thank you.
谢谢你。
(Applause) (Cheers)
（掌声）（干杯）
