分享兴趣，传播快乐，增长见闻，留下美好！亲爱的您，这里是LearningYard新学苑。亲爱的您，这里是LearningYard新学苑。今天小编为大家带来周三说——识损友，慎交友。
Share interest, spread happiness, increase knowledge, and leave beautiful. Dear you, This is the LearingYard Academy!Today, the editor brings you Wednesday share -- Judge your friends carefully.
孔子说：“益者三友，损者三友。友直，友谅，友多闻，益矣；友便辟，友善柔，友便佞，损矣。”所谓慎友，即要交益友，避损友。
Confucius said, "There are three friends who benefit; there are three friends who lose. Friends straight, friends understanding, friends heard, yi; Friends will be open, friendly and soft, friends will be fawning, loss." The so-called cautious friends, that is, to make good friends, avoid damaging friends.
在我们的生活中，有些对象是不能选择的，比如有血缘的亲人；有些对象是不能完全选择的，比如老师、同学、领导、同事、邻居等。有些才是可以选择的，包括上述关系是深交是浅交还是泛泛之交，自己还是有选择权的。而对于交其他朋友，自己完全有主动权。因此，我们应当树立正确的交友观，选友要准，交往有度，不离原则，慎交友，交好友，交诤友，多交淡如水的君子之交，避免甘如醴的小人之交。然而，生活中不乏孤僻古怪，阴阳怪气，矫揉造作，谄媚逢迎，溜须拍马，巧言令色，造谣诽谤，挑拨是非之人，此皆为损友，我们应敬而远之。结合本人经历及见闻，为大家带来一份损友识别指南。
In our life, some objects can not be chosen, such as blood relatives; Some objects cannot be completely chosen, such as teachers, classmates, leaders, colleagues, neighbors and so on. Some are optional, including whether the relationship is deep or shallow or casual. And for making other friends, he has the initiative completely. Accordingly, we ought to establish correct make friends view, choose a friend to want accurate, associate have degree, do not leave principle, careful make friends, make friends, make friends, make light like water of gentleman turn more, avoid sweet be like ashamed of small person turn. However, there is no lack of eccentric, eccentric, affectation, flattery, flattery, slanderous, slander, stir up trouble, this is damage friends, we should stay away. Combined with my experience and experience, for everyone to bring a loss of friends identification guide.
一、 强人所难
为了达到自己的目的，违背别人的意愿，强迫对方去做自己不愿意做的事，还觉得自己有理。
二、 颠倒黑白系列
从一开始就把人往坏处想，然后去找合理的依据来证实自己的观点，真相大白后再次极力否认。
三、 擅长捧杀
“满招损，谦受益”，捧的越高，摔的越重。“赞美是铺满鲜花的陷阱，而批评是防止你跌倒的拐杖。”捧杀，是毁掉一个人最狠的方法。擅长捧杀之人，实在是口蜜腹剑的居心叵测之人。
四、精通PUA话术
建立人设，形成与他人的完美适配，再通过不断的情感指责摧毁一个人的自信和自尊，形成对他人的情感操控。精通PUA话术之人内心阴暗极富心机。
五、 凡尔赛本赛
在日常生活中，朋友圈等其他社交圈，以波澜不惊的口吻，假装不经意地炫富、秀恩爱
六、 以利交者，利穷则人卑
建立在物质利益上的朋友，大多是见利忘义地小人。如果因为你提供了有利的条件，以此交换而来的朋友是最不可靠的。
七、 精神状态不稳定，易怒易嫉妒
情绪精神不稳定的人，就像一个定时炸弹，让人避之不及，他们往往喜怒无常，消极的情绪会影响身边的人。
八、 道德水平低下
一些拥有高学历，却在公共场合不讲公德，个人素质低下，自私自利，出口成脏，言辞激烈。
1. force
In order to achieve their own goals, against the will of others, forcing them to do what they do not want to do, and still feel justified.
2. reverse black and white series
Assume the worst in people from the beginning, then find reasonable evidence to confirm their views, and then deny the truth again.
3. good at killing
"Full loss, modest benefit", the higher you flatter, the heavier you fall. "Praise is a flower-strewn trap, while criticism is a crutch to keep you from falling." To kill is the most ruthless way to destroy a person. Good at killing people, is really a deceitful and malicious people.
4. Proficient in PUA
The establishment of human design, the formation of a perfect match with others, and then through continuous emotional accusations to destroy a person's confidence and self-esteem, the formation of emotional manipulation of others. Those who master the art of PUA are dark and scheming.
5. Versailles
In daily life, other social circles, such as moments of friends, pretend to casually show off their wealth and affection in a placid tone
6. He who pays for himself is poor and humble
Friends built on material interests are mostly mercenary and heartless. Friends are the least reliable if you offer them favorable terms in exchange.
7. mental state is unstable, irritable and easily jealous
Emotionally unstable people are like time bombs to avoid. They tend to be moody and their negative emotions affect those around them.
8. Low moral standards
Some have a high degree, but do not speak public morality in public occasions, personal quality is low, selfish, exports into dirty, fierce words.
综上所述，我们要谨慎交友，以免误交损友贻害无穷。曾国潘曾说:“一生之成败，皆关乎朋友之贤否，不可不慎也。”交友是时，我们都需要有一个善良的心态，而善良的心态就是要明辨是非，在避交损友的同时，要严以律己，善意待人，要建立和谐的人际关系。
To sum up, we should be careful in making friends, lest we make wrong friends and do harm to ourselves. Zeng Guo Pan once said, "The success or failure of life depends on the quality of friends. When making friends, we all need to have a kind mentality, and the kind mentality is to distinguish between right and wrong, avoid making bad friends at the same time, to be strict with themselves, goodwill to others, to establish a harmonious interpersonal relationship.
今天的分享就到这里了。如果您对今天的文章有独特的想法，欢迎给我们留言，让我们相约明天，祝您今天过得开心快乐！
That's it for today's sharing. If you have a unique idea about today’s article, Welcome to leave us a message. Let us meet tomorrow, I wish you a happy day today!
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参考资料：百度图片、谷歌翻译
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