我做过最勇敢的事，就是听你讲你们的故事。
The bravest thing I've ever done is to listen to you tell your story.
我减肥已取得了很大的成功，你看，我三个下巴都尖了！
I have achieved great success in losing weight. You see, my three Chins are sharp!
如果有来生，我愿当一块肥皂，那样就不用再为减肥而担心了。
If there is an afterlife, I would like to be a bar of soap, so I don't have to worry about losing weight.
最近我身边的朋友好像都很迷茫的样子，但是我就不一样了，我只要一进入梦乡，前途就是一片光明呀！
Recently, my friends seem to be confused, but I'm different. As soon as I go to sleep, my future is bright!
“为什么同样是女的，丈母娘比女朋友更难哄？”“因为丈母娘已经上过一次当了！
"Why is it also female? It's more difficult for mother-in-law to coax than girlfriend?"“ Because my mother-in-law has been cheated once!
别人的二十几岁：瘦脸针，开眼角，垫鼻梁，填脂肪，苹果肌；自己的二十几岁：这个好吃，那个好吃，哈哈哈，老板，再来一份！
Others in their twenties: thin face needle, open eyes, pad the bridge of the nose, fill fat, apple muscle; My twenties: This is delicious, that is delicious, hahaha, boss, another one!
男女之间真的有纯友谊吗？有，越丑越纯。
Is there really pure friendship between men and women? Yes, the uglier the purer.
历史考试成绩出来了，历史老师看了看我的试卷说：唉，你考的分数还不如你的岁数大！
The history test results came out. The history teacher looked at my test paper and said: Alas, your score is not as old as you!
我的人生一半是倒霉，另一半是处理倒霉的事。
Half of my life is bad luck, and the other half is dealing with bad luck.
不要轻易相信眼睛看到的美，那些都是妆出来的。
Don't easily believe the beauty seen by your eyes. Those are made up.
小人对小洋说：我在巷口捡到了十块钱。小洋：一定是我昨天掉的那张。小仁：可是我捡到的是两张五块的！小洋：那一定是掉的时候摔破了。
Xiaoren said to Xiaoyang: I found ten dollars at the corner of the alley. Xiao Yang: it must be the one I lost yesterday. Xiaoren: but what I found was two fives! Xiao Yang: it must have been broken when it fell.
夜深人静的时候，每次都想问问自己是怎么做到学业感情两边误的？
In the dead of night, I always want to ask myself how to make mistakes in academic feelings?
我的现状：穷得没钱做坏事，熟得没法做情侣，饿得不知吃什么，困得就是睡不着。
My current situation: too poor to do bad things, too ripe to be a couple, too hungry to eat, too sleepy to sleep.
世界上最有钱的人是奥特曼，因为所有取款机上都印着他名字的缩写“ATM” 。
The richest man in the world is Altman, because his initials "ATM" are printed on all ATM machines.
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