李润问我,如果幸福指数是一百分的话,你现在给自己的状态打多少分。我说,九十八。他大惊,怎么会这么高?我也有点诧异,怎么,你不幸福吗?他说,这个问题他问了好多人,多数人的回答都没超过八十分,不知为何我会有这么高的分数。

Li Run asked me how I would rate my happiness on a scale of 1 to 100. Ninety-eight, I replied. He was greatly amazed and blurted out, "How could it be so high?" I was also a little surprised and asked, "Well, are you unhappy?" He explained that he had put this question to many people, and few had rated their happiness over eighty. He wondered why I gave my happiness such a high score.

how about to swim in the river 从春游到溺水FromSpring(1)

我也有点奇怪,为什么会有这么多人感觉不幸福呢?我就问他,那你觉得哪里不幸福?他一时也答不出来,只是觉得好像并没有那么快乐。我突然明白了,原来很多人认为幸福就一定要天天快乐,这确实有些难。其实,对幸福过高的标准定义往往是造成不幸福的主要原因。

I am also thrust into confusion: why are so many people unhappy? Thus, I asked Li Run what made him feel unhappy. He was at a loss for words and told me he just was not as happy as he had expected. It suddenly dawns on me that many people wish to lead a happy life every day, which is really difficult to realize. In fact, it is the unduly high expectation of happiness that engenders unhappiness.

how about to swim in the river 从春游到溺水FromSpring(2)

  幸福的反义词是什么,是不幸吗?我觉得是麻木。

What is the antonym of 'happiness'? Is it a 'mishap'? I guess it is the 'imperception' of happiness.

当一个人对幸福的感知力越来越少的时候,就很难体会到幸福在听《积极心理学》课程时,有个特别形象的观点让我记忆深刻,说是现在很多成年人对于幸福的追求分为两种一种是溺水模式,就是认为只有解脱的那一刻才会幸福,在此之前都要忍受痛苦比如,有些人认为,发财了就幸福了,找到一个爱人就幸福了,创业成功了就幸福了……而在实现此目标前,就是得忍耐痛苦的过程。另一种是春游模式,就是整个环节从过程到结果都是快乐的。就像我们童年听到春游的通知会开心得跳起,会回到家快乐地做准备,然后坐上大巴愉快地和同学们聊天,到了目的地后的每一刻也都十足兴奋,整个过程都充满着幸福的感觉。我们成年后,很难再有这种感觉,慢慢地从春游模式变成了溺水模式,其实就是对于幸福的感知力开始变弱。

When one's perception of happiness is on the gradual decline, it is hard for him or her to perceive happiness. While I was attending Positive Psychology, a very vivid description impressed me deeply. Adult pursuits of happiness nowadays are divided into two modes. One is the drowning mode. That is, only will the moment of being extricated from suffocating feelings bring him or her happiness. Before it, one has to suffer agony. For instance, some believe that happiness is to earn a huge sum of money; some argue that happiness is to find a soul mate; some insist that happiness is to start a successful business of their own, etc. One inevitably has to bear the enduring pain before achieving his or her goal. The other is spring outing mode. Every step, whether it is process or result, is full of happiness. In our childhood, we jump up and down with joy on hearing the news of a spring outing, return home and prepare everything for the excursion happily, chat with our classmates on the bus jovially, and elate at every moment after arriving at our destination. In a nutshell, happiness pervades in the whole process. Growing up into adulthood, we can hardly have such feelings and evolve to drowning mode from spring outing mode. The reason is that our perception of happiness is waning.

how about to swim in the river 从春游到溺水FromSpring(3)

也许是我接触的病患太多,见识了太多的苦难,所以我对自己拥有的格外珍惜和知足。

Perhaps because of too much contact with patients and their awful tribulations, I cherish what I have possessed gratefully and content with my lot.

大家无法想象,对于一个眼睛看不见的人来说,拥有一双健康的眼睛是多么幸福的事情;对于一个因为贫穷无钱医治疾病的人来说,一万块钱是多么重要。这些道理很多人都懂,但我真真切切地接触到了他们,所以我经常觉得老天给予我的足够多:能每天睁开眼看到天空,可以住在一个无须忍受暑寒的房子,可以步行走到地铁站,可以有一份稳定的工作……这些都让我非常感恩。

We cannot imagine how delighted it is for a blind to regain normal vision and how vital 10,000 Yuan is for a patient who cannot pay the hospital bill. These truths are easily understood. However, I did not realize that I have been given so much until I came into contact with these patients in person. Many things frequently fill my heart with gratitude, such as the crisp and clear sky, a flat that shelters me from scorching heat and piercing cold, the short commuting distance, a steady job with a fixed payment, etc.

how about to swim in the river 从春游到溺水FromSpring(4)

我相信人与人、人与世间万物之间有一种超越语言和行为的联结,如果能用一种正念的思想与世间相处,人就会收到相应正念的回馈。过去的已经过去,未来也是不确定的,我能拥有的只有此时此刻。感受一枚树叶从空中飘落,飘飞出漂亮的弧线,感受一枚橘子瓣在口中爆裂,清甜的滋味蕴藏着大自然的馈赠,这种微小的幸福都是值得珍惜和体会的。当我用这种心态去生活时,我会觉得每时每刻都有种充实的幸福感。

I believe there is a relation beyond languages and behaviors between man and man, man and all things. If one could live in the world with positive thoughts, for which he or she would receive requital accordingly. Bygones have been bygones, and the future is still uncertain. What I can seize is this very moment. I observe the beautiful dance of a leaf whirling in the air. I feel the burst of an orange segment in my mouth, regarding the sweet taste as nature's blessing. Such little happiness is worth my cherishing and relishing. When I live on with this kind of philosophy, my life is fraught with happy moments.

how about to swim in the river 从春游到溺水FromSpring(5)

不把某种目标当作幸福的唯一砝码,而是用一种正念的心态去面对当下,用乐观的心态去构建未来,这种人往往无论取得什么结果,内心都是幸福的。比如天赐父子和薇薇母女,他们能时刻地感知到生活中的美好和善意,所以他们对看似绝望的未来依然心怀乐观。直到现在,即便天赐和薇薇都全盲了,我仍然能感受到他们身上那种幸福和乐观的气息。所以幸福不是外部给予,而是内心发起,从内心涌出来的对现状的满足。学会知足是一种思想境界,如果能身体力行地去帮助一些境况不如自己的人,这种付出往往也是一种回馈因为对比,更能珍惜自己所拥有的;因为付出,更能体会到自己的价值:这何尝不是一种幸福呢。

If you don't take such and such a goal as the only measuring stick of happiness but face your current life with positive thoughts and build your future optimistically, your heart will be full of happiness no matter what results are attained in the end. For example, Tianci and his father, Weiwei and her mother, invariably perceive the goodness and goodwill of life, so they harbor optimistic attitudes toward life even though confronted with a seemingly desperate future. Though Tianci and Weiwei have been totally blind now, I still can feel the air of happiness and optimism in them. Therefore, I insist that happiness is not given by the external world but the satisfaction with one's current life gushing from one's inner heart. Being content with one's lot is a high mental realm. If one can help others inferior to them to their best, this kind of giving is always requited. By comparison, one can treasure what he or she has possessed all the more. By giving, one can recognize his or her own life value. Who can say it is not a kind of happiness?

how about to swim in the river 从春游到溺水FromSpring(6)

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