我们打磨了邮件的称呼，启动了三段式结构，其实邮件还有一个给人留下第一印象的地方。

想想看，我们每天要读多少封邮件？我们是按照收到的时间顺序打开？还是有自己的偏好？

首先进入我们眼帘的是邮件的主题句——Subject line，也可以称为“事由”。

有人会看：事由一栏是不是标红的重要或者紧急‼

有人会看：是不是领导或者客户发来的。

所以人们的偏好是从邮件的主题句来判断。

这应是一行什么样的文字呢？

它是标题，它是导语，它是头面，它应该快速：

· Good offer from

· Solutions to the problem

· Recommending

· Suggestions on

· requesting

那么如何写出有效的邮件主题句呢？

请看例子：

  1. Subject: needing 3 A-models by Tues
  2. 主题：周二需要三个A型模型。这样的表述具体清晰。
  3. Subject: sending information about ABC customer request
  4. 主题：发送ABC客户的具体需求
  5. Subject: UIUC history主题：UIUC历史或者：Any web pages about the history of UIUC?主题：有哪些UIUC历史的网页介绍？

但下面这些主题句就有问题了，我们应如何修改呢？

1. Meeting Report

主题不清晰，建议改为：

July 16, 202X sales meeting report: consensus reached

2. System Breakdown

主题不清晰而且都是负面信息，建议改为：

Reminder and hotline support to IT system breakdown from 3-5 p.m. July 20

3. Trip Report

主题不清晰，建议改为：

Shanghai business trip report to XX customer from March 4-9

4. Vacation

主题不清楚，是已经休假了，还是申请休假没有说。建议改为：

Application for vacation leave from Aug. 5-15 and Bob as backup

5. Annual dinner

主题也不清楚，建议改为：

Annual dinner invitation: Hilton Gala 7-10 p.m., Jan. 12

6. Customer’s complaint

主题不清楚，而且只说了问题没有解决方案。建议改为：

First-aid to Hong Kong customer complaint on after-sales service

7. Rats!

一家公司的员工发现茶水间里饭盒没有及时清理，结果招来了老鼠，她就用这个词提醒大家。可是该词是英语中比较粗鲁的表达，仅次于一些骂人的话，类似中文的“三字经”。写邮件的人没有经验，居然群发给了所有员工，甚至惊动了总经理，提醒她这个词表达不雅。

应该改为：

Alert: mouse found in pantry. Clean up.

别小看邮件的主题句，它可是会给别人留下第一印象哟！尤其在以上的这些主题句里，负面信息居多。试想一位经理在周一早上打开电脑邮箱，满眼都是：customer complaint, system breakdown这样的负面信息，情绪会如何郁闷崩溃！哎～～，突然有一封邮件的主题是：First aid to XX customer complaint——对XX客户投诉的急救方案。那么这位经理还不得像抓住一根救命稻草一样，先打开看看。

所以，主题句应该抓人眼球但又不要沦为标题党；它能够提供积极的解决方案而不是只会投诉、抱怨、哀叹。这已经完全上升到体现工作态度的高度了。

我们还可以怎么精进呢？

当然是抓主旨，有问题也有建议，这是最核心的结构，然后多用一些表示解决问题和建议的词：solution to……, recommendation ……, 等等。一定要体现作者是带着方案来的，不只是哭诉或者抱怨。它是邮件的目的，也是解药。

在更完整的场景中，我们又该如何组织自己的邮件主题呢？请看以下两个例子：

1. (Your Company) is looking for a hotel or conference hall with reasonable price to hold its annual feast. You are informing your manager or the GM that you have found a good offer.

你可以这么写：

Subject: Good offer from Beijing Hotel for our annual feast

一定要在邮件主题中突出重点，表明一定的结论。

2. You are an HR staff member and have to inform all (Beijing) colleagues of this annual event. You need to have their response to make reservations.

你可以这么写：

Subject: Invitation for annual feast and confirmation expected

因为这封邮件有两个目的：一是邀请公司员工参加年会；二是要求确认是否出席，以便安排具体事宜，所以应该清晰地表达出来。

有关写邮件主题句的建议我不一一罗列了，因为如果太细碎，对新手来说还是难以应用。我们需要回归主题句的核心本质——总结内容，引发注意。基于此，我们可以设计出授人以渔的方法。

商务英语写作的目的从大的层面是两个：一是“给”；二是“要”。有了这个底层认知，我们可以嫁接到无穷的写作标题的场景中去。

给：

Sending details about xx customer

Giving price list of xx model

Extending season’s greetings

Providing our feedback on xx project/candidates/

Submitting my report on xx marketing analysis

More information on

Introducing

I’m out of office from

Announcing the position of

Offering the latest deal: 50% off

Saving your effort on

Presenting our total solution

Bidding for

Updating

……

凡是和“给”有关的词汇我们都可以用上，这是不是又一次激活了我们长久休眠的英语单词呢？

再者就是“要”：

Requesting for your approval on

Inquiring on xx

Asking for a favor

Help needed from you

Hope to discuss with you

Building

Let’s welcome

Could you please give us your input on our project?

......

例如从以下几封邮件中，我们可以总结出主题句：

1. Dear

Thank you for your comments. A copy of your letter has been forwarded to the author for his response. I am sure you will be hearing from him in the near future.

I am pleased that you found our article informative and hope that you will continue to read our publication. Should you have any comments or questions in the future, please do not hesitate to write to this office.

We value our readership and are proud to have you as a member of our family of subscribers.

这封邮件的主题就是：Appreciation of Readership

2. Dear

Thank you for your order. At this time we cannot fill your order due to an unexpected shipment delay from our overseas suppliers.

We will hold your order for arrival of the merchandise, and ship shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, we cannot provide you with a specific shipping date at this time.

Thank you for your anticipated patience in this matter.

这封邮件的主题是：Apologizing for Delay in Delivery

3. Dear

Because Mr. Jones is out of the office for the next two weeks I am acknowledging receipt of your letter dated May 20, 202X. It will be brought to his attention immediately upon his return.

If I may be of any assistance during Mr. Jones' absence, please do not hesitate to call.

这封邮件的主题是：Replying on Behalf of Mr. Jones

4. Dear

This is to inform you that we have carefully reviewed your estimate on the parking lot refurbishing. We are planning to contract with you for this work.

We are unable to let this contract immediately, as final approval of expenditures of this nature must come from the head office in New York.

We expect to receive approval or disapproval within the next 30 days. At such time, we will contact you with instructions accordingly.

If we may be of any assistance in the meantime please feel free to contact this office.

这封邮件的主题是：Offering the Contract to You but Waiting for Further Instruction

5. Dear

We are sorry to hear that you have been experiencing problems with your new [name of product].

While we do ask that our customers contact their dealer in the event of a problem, we recognize that, in your case, it would be impossible. Therefore, if you will carefully package the unit in its original carton and send it to us, our "doctors" will put it through a thorough examination to determine the source of the problem.

If the problem turns out to be a minor adjustment, we shall make the repair and be sure to return the [product] to you within thirty days. If our determination is that the unit is defective， we will send you an immediate replacement.

Again, I am sorry that you experienced this difficulty and wish to thank you for your patience and for purchasing our [product].

这封邮件的主题是：Apologies and Our Actions to Solve the Problem

6. Dear

I have written to you several times over the past three months requesting an explanation on why you have failed to bring your account with us currently.

By ignoring these requests, you are damaging the excellent credit record you had previously maintained with our company. In addition, you are incurring additional expense to yourself and to us.

Unless I hear from you within ten days, I will have no other choice but to turn your account over for collection. I am sorry that we must take such drastic action but I am afraid you leave us no alternative. You can preserve your credit rating by remitting your check today for the amount stated above.

这封邮件的主题是：Last Notice on Your Account Issue

这样的例子我们信手拈来：

  1. Sending Joanna's 30 Stories of Edward de Bono in Action in China
  2. Invitation: de Bono distributors and master trainers call @ Mon 9 May 2022 9am - 10am
  3. Meeting on April 4th?
  4. Top Performer closes tonight
  5. A Quick Reply to Your Questions
  6. Smart Lecture Evaluation & Feedback
  7. Your TOEFL Order Confirmation
  8. ETS Account Created for the TOEFL Test
  9. Announcement: Top Performer Special Opening!
  10. Regarding Maintenance at 306/30 Harvey Street, Little Bay
  11. How to Prepare for Your Visa Interview
  12. Greetings from Joanna WANG Qiong (an old friend from Reed and BFSU) and a Favor to ask

邮件的主题会给别人留下第一印象，也是别人决定是否打开邮件的敲门砖。此外，我们一出手就代表了公司形象，显示出作者的水平和实力，更影响到客户对我们的评估。所以提高质量，减少误解，输出效率是共识，我们更应该以解决问题为导向，重点突出，简洁有力。

邮件主题短语（写好邮件的主题句）(1)

文章：王参谋

本文经王琼工作室 输出的力量 授权转载

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