2019.2.17 正月十三·周日
驾·校
来听听这些故事，就明白为什么教练的头发也不多了。
宜
淡定
粗心
忌
在搜索引擎里键入“驾校教练”四个字，“驾校教练骂人”这个搜索提示就自动跳出来了。
得是有多少挨过骂的学生，才能让搜索结果这么明显啊。心疼一下。
其实年轻的新手司机，出状况是在所难免。
来听听这些故事，就明白为什么教练的头发也不多了。
The stories added below were gathered from seasoned driving instructors.
下面这些故事收集自有多年经验的驾校教练。
Once you read them all, you may wonder if students were simply nervous or just terrible learners. Up to you!
读完之后，你可以自行评判这些学生是真的学不会，还是单纯地紧张。
We all remember our first driving lessons. Your hands get sweaty, the rules seem complex and you’re worried about not keeping both hands on the wheel.
我们都记得第一次学车。手上全是汗，规则又复杂，还要担心两只手有没有都在方向盘上。
Dual brakes always help.
双刹车还是有用啊！
For example, Peter Ciappa, president of a driving school, explained that dual brakes did not stop his student from slamming his car into a telephone pole following a left turn in Manalapan (New Jersey).
Peter Ciappa是新泽西州一家驾校的校长。他说，哪怕是双刹车也没能成功阻止学员左转时撞上电线杆。
“The student hit the gas instead of the brake as he was turning… When we hit the pole we were only doing under 10 miles per hour, so no injuries.”
“他转弯的时候把油门当成了刹车......幸好撞上电线杆的时候车速只有10英里每小时，没人受伤。”
As a former police officer, Ciappa was not only scared, to say the least, about the deployment of the vehicle’s air bags during the class, but also worried about the huge number of hubcaps that are lost because of his students—a couple per month, he estimated.
Ciappa之前是做警察的，但他很怕上课的时候安全气囊弹出来，这还是轻的。不仅如此，他还很担心因为学员开车而丢掉轮毂盖——他估计每个月都要丢掉几个。
“The kid makes a turn too tight and hits a curb, or we teach them how to park, they hit the curb.”
“学员转弯太死，撞上了马路牙子；学员学停车，也会撞上马路牙子。”
Oh, that’s the hand-break, not the gear!
那是手刹！不是换挡！
Sometimes having a peripheral view does not stop students from making innocent mistakes. Dharmesh, a British instructor, had an in-car lesson experience that he may never forget.
有时候哪怕眼观六路也没法让学生不犯错。Dharmesh是一名英国驾校教练，他曾给学员上过一堂让他永生难忘的车内课。
“So I was with a student on a lesson and we were calmly driving on a dual carriageway at 50mph, at around 8pm. Everything was going well when suddenly, out of nowhere—the handbrake appeared to have been pulled up!
“我在跟学生上课，车子以50英里的速度平稳行驶在双车道路上，那时候晚上八点了。一切正常，突然，不知道怎么回事，感觉手刹被拉起来了！”
“The car then swerved sideways into the middle lane, Tokyo Drift style! … It turns out that the learner was innocently trying to change into the next gear, but instead of grabbing the gear stick, pulled the handbrake up!” said Dharmesh.
Dharmesh说：“接着车子就向侧面急转弯，拐到了中间车道，简直东京漂移！……后来才知道，是学员想要换挡，结果没抓换挡把手，却把手刹拉起来了！”
Let’s keep things on perspective.
一定要看路！
As a word to the wise: If you’re taking in-car lessons. keep your eyes on the road. Also, try not to distract your instructor. They’re only humans, after all, and they sometimes have trouble helping newbies drive the vehicle.
提醒一句：上车的时候，记得眼睛盯着路。还有，不要打搅教练。毕竟他们也是人，有时候他们也觉得教新手开车很有挑战性。
Students can get past the theory, but a spin around the neighborhood in a 2,000-pound death machine is a little different. As driver instructors keep adding pressure and getting frustrated, it’s easy to see why new drivers get flustered alongside the instructor.
学员们理论课通常没问题，但在周边开着一台2000磅重的危险机器溜一圈还是有点不一样。教练不断加压，又不断失望。这样看来，就容易理解为什么新手们在教练面前会紧张慌乱了。
驾校车上发生的趣事儿可不止有教练们说的这些，学员们也怕碰到猪队友啊。同一辆车，同一个教练教的，你说你怎么就开不会呢。
When I took my driving test it was me and two other dudes, and the teacher.
我驾考的时候，车上有我和另外两个学员，还有教练。
One of the dudes used D for dirt and P for pavement. So when we got off a dirt road that transitioned to pavement, dude shifted to P. That was interesting to watch.
有个哥们儿把D档当做是泥土路（dirt），把P档位当做是铺筑路或者石板路（pavement）。所以，他把车开过泥土路之后，马上就要上大路了，这家伙就换成了P档。画面太美我不敢看。
So we have those cars where the instructor has a brake pedal on the passenger side. I remember my friend had a really heavy foot and was speeding a lot and the instructor would get pissing mad. At almost every green light he'd slam on the gas and the instructor would fight it back.
我们的驾校车副驾驶的位置有教练可以踩的刹车。我记得我一个朋友脚特别重，老是加速，然后教练就很生气。每一次看到绿灯，他都会猛踩油门，然后教练就会猛踩刹车。
During one of my drive times I was approaching train tracks going about 35 mph. All of a sudden the instructor screams "TRAIN!" and slams on her brakes, which caused the car behind us to do the same, which caused them to get rear-ended by the car behind them...There was no train -_-
有次我开车开到铁道边上，速度在35英里。突然我的教练就尖叫起来：“火车来了！”，然后猛踩她那边的刹车。以至于我们后边的车也紧急制动，结果他们就被后面的车追尾了……其实根本就没有火车经过 -_-
大城市的公共交通发达到几乎不需要驾车出行。
但如果你觉得一技傍身自有好处，那就好好学吧。
拿了本儿的，不碰车可不行啊，三天不练手松。
中国日报双语新闻提醒您：道路千万条，安全第一条；行车不规范，亲人两行泪。
各位晚安，好梦。
Notes
seasoned adj 富有经验的
telephone pole adj 电线杆
hubcap n 轮毂盖
hand-break手刹
air bag 安全气囊
peripheral 周围的；外设的
brake pedal 刹车踏板
passenger side 副驾座位
gear n.齿轮；排挡；传动装置 v.适合；把齿轮装上
pavement n 铺筑过的路面；硬而光的表面，尤指公共地方或大路
slam v 使劲一推
rear-ended 追尾
点击下面的图片
关注网易云音乐“中国日报双语君”电台
↓↓↓
编辑：左卓
实习编辑：陈月华
来源： Etags
推 荐 阅 读
那“暗淡蓝点”正是流浪地球，这位天文学家的书带你飞向星空丨读书者说
过年染什么颜色的头发，才能slay全场？ | 夜听双语
中国日报双语新闻
↑长按关注中国最大的双语资讯公众号↑
,
