爱吃辣的加拿大大叔
雅思托福10多年一线教学
中文说得还不错，头像是他家猫
在这里分享他原创的雅思写作干货
每篇范文都有配音，在同名公众号“英语考试Cat”
你好呀，我是来自加拿大的雅思外教Mac。今天，给大家带来一个雅思大作文的高分范文。
老规矩，以下是正文目录：
1，题目
2，审题
3，高分范文
4，范文朗读
5，范文地道词汇中英对照，包括：
- 题目改述
- 讨论 观点类大作文高分句型
- 展示“词汇丰富度”的词汇&短语
- 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇&句型
上题：
Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. But others think taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
审题：
- Type: Discuss & Opinion 讨论 观点 (我的观点：both are good ‘in equal measure’)
- Body 1: team sports help build the attributes of being cooperative
- Body 2: individually pursued sports help build self-discipline and self-determination
- Model Answer 高分范文 & 范文朗读 -
There is a dichotomy that exists between those who believe it is more advantageous to play team sports, and those that feel participating in individually pursued forms of athletics is of greater use. This essay shall discuss both viewpoints; however, in my opinion, I believe both are beneficial in equal measure.
One of the most frequently cited reasons for believing team sports are superior to individually played sport activities is that they can teach participants the important aspects of team work and cooperation. Being able to play a team sport, by definition, necessitates the individual to forego personal glory for the sake of the team. In other words, it teaches the player to understand the strategies for winning as a group, recognize the strengths of others, and to realize the value of each individual in the aim of winning. As society moves towards greater collectivization therefore, playing team sports is a highly effective method of cultivating attributes for group-oriented living.
On the other hand, participating in athletic pursuits, such as swimming, or even in competitive one-to-one sports, as in martial arts, can help an individual hone their skill, focus their energy, and discipline their mind without the help of teammates. This inevitably produces a type of self-reliance and self-discipline in a competition that is akin to the battle of life we all must face, and that ultimately can help individuals to reach their true potential, not just at sport, but also within their lives. Individual style sport activities can also help teach an individual to be a leader of themselves, and so by becoming our own leader, a person can become more apt at leading others.
In conclusion, with team sports being able to effectively transmit the need for being a team player, and individual type sport activities being able to help a person focus their self-discipline, it seems that both have their benefits, and subsequently, in my opinion, I believe both types of sport are equally beneficial to the person who participates in either type.
- Essay Analysis 范文解析 -
- (1) Introduction
Paraphrasing from the Statement/Question 题目改述:
- Some people think … But others think = There is a dichotomy that exists between those
- who believe….and those that feel
- beneficial = advantageous
- to take part in = to play (sports)
- played in teams = team sports
- taking part in = participating in
- individual sports = individually pursued forms of athletics
- is better = is of more benefit
Standard Phrase for the “Opinion” type essay 观点类大作文高分句型：
- There is a dichotomy that exists between those who believe…and those that feel…
- This essay shall discuss both viewpoints
- ; however, in my opinion, I believe
- both are beneficial
- in equal measure
Words showing Cohesion (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语:
- that
- those who
- and those that
- This
- ; however,
- both
Vocabulary 高分地道词汇和短语：
- dichotomy 二元论
- advantageous 有益的
- pursued 追求的
- forms of ……形式的
- athletics 体育运动
- (2) Body 1 -
Aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到：
- more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams
Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：
- One of the most frequently cited reasons for…is that
Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：
- superior to 胜过
- participants 参与者
- cooperation 合作
- necessitates 需要；使……成为必须
- to forego 放弃
- personal glory 个人荣誉
- strategies 策略
- collectivization 集体化
- a highly effective method of 非常高效的方法
- cultivating 培养
- attributes 品质
- ___-oriented (group-oriented) 以……为导向的
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- is that
- and
- being able to
- , by definition,
- for the sake of
- In other words
- it
- in the aim of
- As
- towards greater
- therefore,
- (3) Body 2 -
Aspects that must be referred to 这段需要提到：
- taking part in individual sports is better
Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：
- On the other hand,
Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：
- athletic pursuits 运动成就
- competitive one-to-one sports 一对一的运动
- hone 磨练
- discipline 训练
- inevitably 不可避免地
- self-reliance 自力更生；依靠自己
- self-discipline 自律
- akin to 与……相似
- the battle of life 生活之战
- ultimately 最终
- to reach (ones) true potential 达到潜力
- more apt at 有……的倾向
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- On the other hand,
- , participating
- , such as
- , or even
- , as in
- This
- that is akin to
- , and that
- ultimately
- , not just
- , but also
- within
- also
- , and so by
- (4) Conclusion -
Standard IELTS essay phrase 雅思高频句型：
- In conclusion,
- in my opinion, I believe
Vocabulary and Collocations 高分地道词汇和短语：
- transmit 传递；传播
Words Showing Cohesion [Signposting words, conjunctions, relative pronouns] (C&C) 展示“连贯与衔接”的词汇和短语：
- , with
- being able to
- , and
- , it seems that both
- their
- , and subsequently
- both
- are equally
- in either
以上就是我今天分享的关于雅思的部分干货，如果你在考雅思，或单纯想提升英语，做1个动作：点击关注我，及时收看更多干货好文。
祝各位早日和雅思分手，加油！
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