这本书是2000年出版的,也算是有点年份的书,但是确实很经典。里面提及了大量的中式英语表达法,从unnecessary words到incorrect structures,把中国学生错误的表达揭露无遗。
这本书吸引人的两个地方是:
1. 它十分系统地探讨了“Chinglish - 中式英语”这一现象,是至今为止看到的关于中式英语的最完整的归纳总结,这对于中国人的英文写作非常有指导性,老师可以用,学生也可以用,值得珍藏;
2. 整理自精通中文的native speaker,权威,很有参考价值;与其他关于“中式英语”的书不同,这本书并不是出自中国人之手,而是地道的美国人——John Pinkham主笔的,并且经过中央编译局中文文献翻译试英文处处长——姜桂华共同审核参考,使得这本书的内容更为严谨。
有个同学看完对此书做了学习笔记,给大家提取了本书重要的内容。感兴趣的可以买书或者网上下载电子书来看。收藏起来,去看这本书的时候对着来看还是会收益良多!
因为笔记太长了,先po个目录给大家,对某一个内容感兴趣的可以跳着看喔!
学习笔记 01:不必要的名词
学习笔记 02:不必要的动词
学习笔记 03:过渡引导性动词短语
学习笔记 04:判断的重要性
学习笔记 05:多余的修饰语
学习笔记 06: 不言而喻的修饰
学习笔记 07:不必要的修饰之强调成分
学习笔记 08:不必要的修饰之限定语
学习笔记 09:不必要的修饰之陈词滥调
学习笔记 10:怎样分辨不必要的修饰
学习笔记 11:成对多余的判断与种类
学习笔记 12:如何消除多余
学习笔记 13:地道英语中的成对多余
学习笔记 14:同一件事说两遍
学习笔记 15:抽象名词瘟疫与解决办法
学习笔记 16:名词“瘟疫”的特殊形式
学习笔记 17:名词使用建议
学习笔记 18:代词使用之明确先行词
学习笔记 19:先行词模棱两可或离代词太远
学习笔记 20:代词与先行词的一致性
学习笔记 21:怎样更正单词的逻辑顺序
学习笔记 22:语序与句子重心的关系
学习笔记 23:悬吊的分词
学习笔记 24:动名词与不定式的主语一致
学习笔记 25:介词短语的主谓一致
学习笔记 26:单独的形容词
学习笔记 01:不必要的名词大多数不必要的名词不是单独出现的,而是和冠词或介词组成的短语。
A: to accelerate the pace of economic reform
B: to accelerate economic reform
"to accelerate" = "to increase the pace of"
A: there have been good harvests in agriculture
B: there have been good harvests
"harvest"的意思包含了"agriculture"
A: living standards for the people in both urban and rural areas continued to rise
B: living standards in both urban and rural areas continued to rise
生活标准当然是指人类的啦
有一些不必要的名词不是那么容易找出,但是稍微想一下就会发现它们在句子中无关紧要。
A: following the realizationof mechanization and electrification of agriculture
B: following the mechanization and electrification of agriculture
A: it is essential to strengthen the building of national defense
B: it is essential to strengthen national defense
A: these constitute important conditions in strivingfor the fulfillment of the general task in the transitional period
B: these constitute important conditions for the fulfillment of the general task in the transitional period
需要特别提到的是 范畴名词,在中式英语中是最普遍的。
在这种句式中,第一个名词预示着第二个名词的种类,但却是读者明显就知道的意思:
A: promoting the cause of peaceful reunification
B: promoting peaceful reunification
A: reforms in the sphereof the economy
B: reforms in the economy
A: to ensure a relationshipof close cooperation between…
B: to ensure close cooperation between…
学习笔记 02:不必要的动词大多不必要的动词出现在短语里,这些短语有以下两种主要形式:
1.不必要的动词 名词
A: It is impossible for us to accomplish the transformation of the whole society overnight.
B: It is impossible for us totransform the whole society overnight.
A: They shouldconduct a careful examination of…
B: They should carefully examine…
A: Trying to entice the Korean army tolaunch an attack against them.
B: Trying to entice the Korean army to attack them.
被动语态:
A: approval should be given to all these projects
B: all these projects should be approved
give approval to = to approve
A: solutions to these problems can be found only through…
B: the problemscan be solvedonly through…
to find solutions to = to solve
A: grain rationing was implemented
B: grain was rationed
to implement rationing = to ration
2.不必要的动词 不必要的名词 第三个词语
A: our troops used the method of slow advance
B: our troops advanced slowly
A: we adopted the policy of withdrawal
B: we withdrew
A: we need to achieve the objective of clarity in ideology
B: we need to be clear in our ideology
但是有时被用来当做动词的是一个形容词,那么就要将形容词改成动词形式,同时将其他无用的单词摒弃:
A: this measure will have a restrictive effect on the activities of speculators
B: this measure willrestrict activities of speculators
有时第三个词语是另一个动词,同样只保留有用的词语
A: we failed to take care to ensure that there must be an all-round balance between the various planned targets
B: we failed to ensure that all-round balance between the planned targets
"there must be"仅仅是重复"ensure“的意思,"targets"是复数形式,不需要"various"作修饰
学习笔记 03:过渡引导性动词短语A: it is especially necessary tomake great efforts to assimilate the achievements of other cultures
B: it is especially necessary to assimilate the achievements of other cultures
重要的是assimilate,take effort是显而易见的,所以不需要这么说。
补充:make every effort to, try our best to, do our utmost to, do everything possible to 等等
A: all enterprises must pay attention to promoting excellent workers
B: all enterprises must see to it that excellent workers are promoted
企业不是必须“注意”做什么而是必须做什么。
补充:lay stress on, attach importance to 等等
A: the principal task at present is todo a good job in disseminating and applying the results of scientific and technological research
B: the principal task at present is disseminate and apply the results of scientific and technological research
逻辑上,这个任务不是“do a good job"而是”desseminate and apply"。
补充:meke a success of, achieve success in, do successful work in (以及,动词 形容词:be good at)等等
学习笔记 04:判断的重要性一、确保这个单词的确不必要
例如,“at present it is necessary to…”这个表达时间的名词短语并不总是多余的,可能意思是:这个需要只是暂时的,这时这个短语就不能删去了。
通常没什么意义的范畴名词偶尔也是发挥作用的:“in accordance with the principle of self-reliance, all army units should…”
像"make great efforts to" "pay attention to" "do a good job" 这些短语有时是表达了意思的:"we must make great efforts in education"
甚至有些为了引导其它动词的短语,也不是完全多余的:“we must make great efforts to overcome this difficulty" 可能表明这个任务将会特别艰巨。
“Chiana has always followed a policy of peaceful coexistence" 这里的短语是表达意思的必要成分,显然需要保留。
二、联系上下文
例如,“we must follow the policy of putting quality first" 这个短语只是”we must always put quality first“ 的中式英语?还是作者的真正意思是强调一项政策观点?也许我们应该保留”policy“甚至彻底改动这个句子来强调它:”we must make it our policy to put quality first.“
学习笔记 05:多余的修饰语许多从中文翻译过来的形容词和副词在英语中是多余的,它们的意思在它们所修饰的单词或其它句子成分中已经被包含或暗示了。
a)明显的多余
A: that theory too is a valuable ideological treasure of the Party
B: that theory too isan ideological treasure of the Party
财富的定义就是有价值的
A: quadrupling GNP will provide a new starting point from which, in another 30 to 50 years, we shall approach the level of the economically developed countries
B: quadrupling GNP will provide a new starting point from which, in another 30 to 59 years, we shall approach the level of the developed countries
“发达国家”这个术语就是指经济上的发达
A: Singapore will bar America's popular female pop star Madonna from staging a show in its territory
B: Singapore will bar America's pop star Madonna from staging a show in its territory
她如果不受欢迎那么她就不是一个明星,所以“popular”是不必要的(另一点是它和“pop”重复了)。以及对西方读者来说,即使有人从没听说过这位演出者,也普遍认识“Madonna”这个女性名字,所以“female”是多余的
b)时间副词
通常动词的时态已经发挥了时间副词的作用。
A: now the government is working hard to improve taxation
B: the government is working hardto improve taxation
A: previously we used to overemphasize the need for class struggle
B: we used to overemphasize the need for class struggle
c)"various"
中文通常用“各种各样的”来表示复数,但在英语中是通过名词加“-s”来表明复数的,“various”通常是多余的。
A: more and more of our various construction projects require the efforts of the intellectuals
B: more and more of ourconstruction projects require efforts of intellectuals
A: hundreds of transnational firms have started various businesses in China
B: hundreds of transnational firms have started businesses in China
d)其它例子
A: imports of foreign automobiles have declined sharply this year
B: imports of automobiles have declined sharply this year
你也不能进口国货啊
A: the long-term stability and prosperity of Hong Kong will be assured as long as China widely unites the Hong Kong people from all walks of life
B: the long-term stability and prosperity of Hong Kong will be assured as long as Chinaunites the Hong Kong people from all walks of life
"widely"与短语"from all walks of life“含义重复
A: they must also have some necessary knowledge about history and geography
B: they must also know something about history and geography
“necessary”与"must have“重复
学习笔记 06: 不言而喻的修饰这类修饰语所表达的意思是理所当然的。
A: these nine years constitute a period in which the national economic strength has increased
B: in these nine years the economyhas grown stronger
除非特别说明,“the economy"的意思就是”the national economy“
A: departments of scientific research should take steps to make a proper readjustment of …
B: departments of scientific research should readjust …
“reajustment”应该要“proper”这是理所当然的
A: we should appropriately raise the purchasing prices of grain and cotton, so as to increase the income of the peasants considerably
B: we should raise the purchasing prices of grain and cotton, so as to increase the income of the peasants considerably
通常我们做任何事情都应该“适当”
A: the editorial notes that in 1992, China will open wider to the outside world and do an even better job in running the five special economic zones, as well as the new Pudong development zone in China's leading industrial city of Shanghai
B: the editorial notes that in 1992, China will open wider to the outside world and do an even better job of running the five special economic zones, as well as the new Pudong development zone inthe leading industrial city of Shanghai
即使是外国读者也应该知道,上海属于中国
学习笔记 07:不必要的修饰之强调成分强调成分通常是形容词(如"serious""great")或副词(如"extremly""certainly"),来强调它们所修饰的词语。
通常,一篇英语文章没有它们会更好。
a)带疲软词的强调成分
有时强调成分用来修饰一个疲软的或不充分的单词以期望增加它的力量。在英语中,这是一个无经验作者的标志。
一个有技巧的作者会尝试从丰富的词汇量中找出一个明确的单词,来表达同样的意思。
A:I think there will definitely be genuine stability and unity
B: I am certain thatthere will be genuine stability and unity
A: I firmly believe that…
B: I am convinced that…
A: I can surely tellyou that…
B: I can assure you that…
b)带有力词的强调成分
比如一个单词完全能够明确表达作者的想法,强调成分完全没有任何意义,即,这个修饰词是多余的。
A: "all this conduct has severely damaged the reputation of the medical profession and must be firmly banned," the minister said
B: "LL this conduct has severely damaged the reputation of the medical profession and must be banned," the minister said
“ban”在英语意思中是在法律层面上禁止的,这个动作定义上就是“firmly”的
A: the Civil Aviation Administration of China strongly demanded that the Taiwan authorities take all measures possible to secure the safety of the plane and its passengers
B: the Civil Aviation Administration of China demanded that the Taiwan authorities take all measures possible to secure the safety of the plane and its passengers
"demand“是一个严格的,甚至是命令式的要求
A: these practices should be totally abolished
B: these practices should be abolished
"abolish"包含了“完全”的意思,而不能部分废除某事
c)一般多余的强调成分
active/actively
A: active efforts should be made to develop small-scale mining
B: efforts should be made to develop small-scale mining
"efforts"定义上就是积极的
effective/effectively
A: to benefit the people by means of an effective control of the Yellow River
B: to benefit the people by controlling the Yellow River
控制必须是有效控制
actual (true, real) /actually (truly, really)
A: the people's procuratorates must always pay attention to actual facts
B: the people's procuratorates must always pay attention tofacts
事实自然就是真实的,否则就不是事实
successful/successfully
A: to successfully accomplish the arduous and complicated tasks defined at this congress…
B: to accomplish the arduous, complicated tasks defined at this congress…
To successfully accomplish = to succeed in accomplishing = to accomplish
d)强调成分的作用
有时强调成分过度强调,但有时,它反而减弱了它所修饰词语的力度,引起读者怀疑。
A: the people's living standards are truly rising, the country is thriving, and China's international prestige is genuinely growing
B: the people's standard of living is rising, the country is thriving, and its international prestige is growing
如果"rising"需要”truly“来支持,”growing"需要"genuinely"来确认,那么“thriving”无任何修饰,该怎么确认它真的意味着“繁荣”?
e)专家建议
• William Zinsser: 大多数副词都是没有必要的。如果你选择了一个能明确表达意思的动词,又加上一个表达同样意思的副词,会使得句子混乱,让读者烦恼。
• Claire Cook: 你也许应该删掉所有强调的副词——very, really, truly, actually等等。如果你选择了一个正确的单词,加上very反而达不到你的目的;如果你没能选择正确的单词,very也做不了什么补偿。
• H. W. Fowler: 一个强调的形容词加上名词的固定搭配反而不如一个单独的名词有力。
学习笔记 08:不必要的修饰之限定语有些副词不是用来加强而是减轻语气,这就是限定语,例如"quite", "rather", "relatively"。当没有某些条件修饰的句子太过于绝对时,用这些单词是没有问题的。但如果任意地使用限定语,会给读者留下一种犹豫、胆小的印象,就好像作者不能或不愿肯定任何事情一样。
a)举例
A: we have dozens of thousands of students studying abroad, and it is quite importantto create suitable conditions for their work after they come back
B: we have tens of thousands of students studying abroad, andit is important to create suitable conditions for their work after they return
A: Chinese officials voiced shock yesterday at a decision by the US Export-Import Bank to delay loans for a subway project for the southern city of Guangzhou…"The impact of this will be quite huge," an official said by telephone.
B: …"The impact of this will be huge," an official said by telephone.
如果官方表达了震惊,他们当然认为这个决定将带来巨大的影响,"quite"削弱了"huge"的意思
b)"Perhaps", "maybe", "possibly"
这三个单词属于同一类——即使它们使用合理,也常常是多余的,可以简单地替换为"may""might"
A: perhaps it will take a decade to accomplish this
B: it may take a decade t accomplish this
c)专家意见
• Gowers: "unduly", "relatively", "comparatively"只有当提到某事时,有个对照标准,才能被适当使用。
• Strunk and White: 如果把散文比作池塘,那么像"rather", "a little”这些限定词就是池塘里水蛭,吸取单词的血液。
学习笔记 09:不必要的修饰之陈词滥调a)举例
arduous tasks
appropriate readjustment
painstaking efforts
bold experiments
overwhelming majority
clearly defined
scientific analysis
firm and effective measures
correct understanding
basically accomplished
b)重复的影响
程镇球教授提出,中文比英文对形容词和副词有更多的包容。如果将它们逐字翻译成英文,会导致过犹不及。
另一方面,过度使用修饰语会使其失去说服力,当应该适当使用它们的时候,却已经没有作用了。
c)避免重复
最简单的方法就是在英文译文中省去陈词滥调的修饰语,但有时,删掉单词会丢失原文信息的时候,可以用一个新鲜的花样来避免单调。
arduous task - demanding
vigorous development - intensive
further efforts - renewed
resolute measures - determined
简单来说,要控制无意义的修饰语的使用,例如 very, fully,使用太多次会使其失去意义。
学习笔记 10:怎样分辨不必要的修饰1.多余的:
new innovations = innovations
第一种类型不需要犹豫,但是其它类型就需要多加考虑了
2.不言而喻的:
he called for...further reform efforts to push State cultural organizations and performing art troupes into the marketplace
文化部长在提倡额外的努力,所以这里的“further”是合理的
3.强调成分:
the complete prohibition and through destruction of nuclear weapons
这里需要考虑政治因素,如果现在改正这个冗余词有可能改变中国长期政策的意思
4.限定语:
looking back to the war years, I should say that our Second Field Army accomplished its tasks fairly wellat every stage of the war
这是邓小平的发言,特指他和刘伯承共同指挥的挺进大别山这场战役,如果没有这个限定语会失去言辞中的谦逊之意
5.陈词滥调:
Jiang said that the central idea running through Deng Xiaoping's remarks was the need to carry out unswervingly the Party's basic line of "making economic construction the central task and adhering to the four cardinal principles..."
这是江泽民作为的公开声明,即使这个词没有必要,也最好保留
总之,中文和英文之间对于修饰语的使用习惯有明显的不同,在决定如何处理之前,仔细地分析一下是十分有必要的。
学习笔记 11:成对多余的判断与种类无论是你的翻译草稿还是其他人的,当你看到一对同义词时,一定要辨认是否两个都需要才能表达中文的意思。
由于它们的意义并不完全相同,看似两个都需要保留,然而英语中并没有两个单词的意义是完全相同的。
由于历史原因,英语汇集了无数其它语言,有着极其丰富的词汇。也就是说,英语包含了许多同义词。有些从不同语言演变而来的两个单词可能出现同样的意思,例如:
friendship/amity
wonderful/marvelous
handbook/manual
motherly/maternal
undertaking/enterprise
underwater/submarine
foretell/predict
wrong/erroneous
oversee/supervise
before/prior to
即使在词典中的定义上它们的用法是完全相同的,但是单词所具有的隐含意义和联想,以及在不同的语境中,都有着微妙的区别。
“foretell”包含了神秘预言的色彩,而“predict”偏向科学;“wrong”能表达道德上的谴责,而“erroneous”不能。
所以 问题不在于两个单词之间是否有什么不同,它们一定有不同。问题在于:在这个特定的语境中,它们有没有什么重要的不同之处?如果没有,那么可以说它们是“成对多余”。
成对多余的分类
1.两个单词的意思几乎相同
A: this is the only road leading toaffluence and prosperity
B: this is the only road toprosperity
A: a country that wants to develop needs to pay close attention to maintaining extensive internationalcontacts and dealingswith all kinds of people
B: a country that wants to develop needs to maintain extensive international contacts with all kinds of people
回顾:“pay close attention to”属于不必要的引导性动词 名词
A: our store also accepts orders for blouses, shirts, pajamas… etc. , the sewing work being fine and excellent
B: our store also accepts orders for blouses, shirts, pajamas… etc. , all of which are finelysewn
2.其中一个单词包含或暗示了另一个单词的意思
A: biographical background data on cadres should be correctlyevaluated and comprehended
B: biographical background data on cadres should be correctly evaluated
如果不理解是无法做出正确的评估的
A: the Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman called the decision "yet another attempt by British Hong Kong authorities tointerfere with and undermine the Sino-British talks"
B: the Chinese Foreign Ministry spokesman called the decision "yet another attempt by British Hong Kong authorities toundermine the Sino-British talks"
“undermine”是用破坏性的方法来干涉
A: the KMT government arbitrarily arrested, imprisoned, and executed workers, students, and other patriotic democrats and promulgated and implementeda series of reactionary laws and decrees
B: the KMT government arbitrarily arrested, imprisoned, and executed works, students, and other patriotic democrats and promulgated a series of reactionary laws and decrees
除非特别说明,一旦法律宣布就会生效
3.其中一个单词意思非常的简略模糊,无法和另一个单词区分
A: So long as the two sides work together, bilateral relation will continue to grow and develop further.
B: So long as the two sides work together, bilateral relations will continue to grow.
“develop”没有为"grow"增加任何精确的意思
回顾:“continue to”已经表达了"further"的意思
A: the editorial also calls for strengthening and building the Party
B: the editorial also calls for strengthening and expanding the Party
两个单词都很简单模糊,但看不出区别。如果"building"是用来表达壮大党员队伍,用"expanding“要更精确
A: effective guidance by the government is especially important fora healthy and rational developmentof this industry in a socialist market economy
B: governmental guidance is especially important for the rational development of this industry in a socialist market economy
单独用“rational"解释得更好,"healthy"反而弄巧成拙
回顾:"effective"是不必要的修饰语
学习笔记 12:如何消除多余1.删掉其中一个
例如:
“geographical surveys and explorations”可以缩减为“geographical surveys”,而不会损失任何意义;
强烈要求干部们“attentive and meticulous in their work”修改为“meticulous in their work”也不会就令他们变得粗心了。
2.用一个能更好表达思想的新词替换掉这两个词
例如:
”faraway, distant areas“可以用”remote“来描述;
号召人们的时候用 “alert and wake up”不如换作“rouse”。
3.联系上下文增加一两个单词来阐明原词所包含的意义
偶尔的情况下,两个或两个以上的单词在英语译文中确实有必要,但是译者用错了方法,他本打算将非常多的意思浓缩为两个单词,但是不仅没能表达出完整的意思,还不知不觉变成了成对多余。
例如:
"conditions and environment”修改为“working conditions and social environment”;
“reconnaissance and investigation”扩展为“military reconnaissance and investigation among the people”。
通过解释清楚两个单词的区别来消除它们之间的重复,用英语明确地表达出中文所暗含的意义。正因如此,一旦理解错误原意,这种方式将导致错译。所以在增添单词前一定要好好想清楚。
同样的一组词,可能这篇文章中需要保留,那篇文章中需要删去,而且中文也可能有不同的解释,经常会有争议。
如果经过仔细考虑后,依然不能对其做出明确的判断,那么最好都保留。
尤其是在处理政府文件和官方声明时,与其冒着漏掉某些意思的风险,还不如保留多余成分。
以下实例在争论后校正者决定都保留(或者换成两个更合适的词):
A: "Trade unions should voice their opinions and demands in time and truly protect their legitimate rights and interests," the President said.
B: "Trade unions should voice their opinions and demands in time and protect their legitimate rights and interests," the President said.
每一组词中,两者之间都有重要区别
回顾:"truly"是不必要的修饰语
A: Party leader Jiang Zemin has urged the nation to grasp and implementDeng Xiaoping's recent remarks on reform
B: Party leader Jiang Zemin has urged the nation to understand and apply Deng Xiaoping's recent remarks on reform
两个单词明显表达了不同的意思,问题是搭配错误
A: the cause of our Party has enjoyed the support and assistance of progressive people and friendly countries throughout the world
B: the cause of our Party has enjoyed the support and assistance of progressive people and friendly countries throughout the world
推测两者之间的区别可能是精神上的支持和物质上的帮助,应该增加单词解释。但由于这是党的领导人在国会上发表的演讲,为避免增词后显得过于保守,故保留原文。
如果换做另一种情况,校正者可能会少些顾虑,例如"with the assistance and support of the central government, Tibet has made great strides,”毫无疑问会当作简单的成对多余删掉其中一个。
学习笔记 13:地道英语中的成对多余不只是中国译者会出现成对多余,以英语为母语的当地人也会如此。
比如,日本政府宣布的计划中引用的美国贸易代表的话"significant and historic";
医院的理事表明他们会"promote the vigorous scrutiny and speedy resolution of any issues or problems identified in the realm of patient care"以及"strengthen ahd enhance emotional support for patients and their families.";
房地产中介会为他们的"clients and customers"提供"benefit and knowledge";
文件计划"inform and explain the process of purchasing property in Hawaii."
的确,有一些成对多余经常出现,使其获得了一定的认可度,例如:
rules and regulations
bits and pieces
trials and tribulations
by leaps and bounds
betwixt and between
lo and behold
by hook or by crook
right and proper
vim, vigor and vitality
various and sundry
first and foremost
pure and unadulterated
hale and hearty
the strait and narrow (path)
winking and blinking
the one and only
ranting and raving
above and beyond (the call of duty)
huffing and puffing
really and truly
像左列这类有相同的韵头或韵脚的词组,读起来朗朗上口,在幽默诙谐的文体中是可以存在的。
还有一些像"null and void", "each and every", "without let or hindrance". "aid and abet"等等曾经是法律术语,至今也为律师所用。但是除此之外,像老师、作家、编辑等语言专业的人是拒绝这种无意义重复的。
学习笔记 14:同一件事说两遍1.简单的重述
一个句子中的两个部分几乎说的同一件事,通常模式是:"we must arrive the station on time and be punctual."
• We must practice economy and reduce unnecessary expenditures
• We must be clear whether a mistake has really been made and if it has, we must be able to tell whether it is a major or minor one and whether it is serious or not.
• In industrial production we should maintain a policy of safety first, with prevention of accidents as our main concern
有时,连接词不是"and"而是"in order ot",使句子本质上陷入了循环,模式:"we must arrive at the station on time in order to be punctual"
• We must further strengthen the building of national defense in order to enhance our defense strength
• It is essential to control environmental pollution so as to protect the environment
2.不言而喻的陈述
句子中的一部分已经明显包含了另一部分的意思,模式:"we must arrive at the station on time in order to catch the train"
• By renovating and expanding a number of chemical fertilizer plants, we shall increase the output of standard fertilizer by 15 million tons in the five-year period… Meanwhile, to increase soil fertility, we should promote widespread scientific application of fertilizer and greater use of farm manure.
• We should reduce taxes on enterprises so as to allow them to retain more of their profits and thus increase their financial capacity
• China's socialist system of law has now been basically established, so that the situation in which there were no laws has changed
3.镜像陈述
同一个意思用正反两面来陈述,模式:"we must arrive at the station on time and not be late"
• We should pay close attention to the formulation of annual plans and not neglect it
• We must maintain our vigilance and never be off guard
• Financial expenditures should be arranged in order of priority, rather than be given equal status
同一件事说两遍——处理方法
(1)发现深层的(或不同)的意思
首先,重新研读原文,也许会发现另一层含义,之前被译者误解或忽视了,亦或者在译文中表达出来会减少多余性。例如:
A: this shows that all advanced means of communication and communications equipment are controlled by the people, so the difficulties of the past no longer exist
B: this shows that all advanced means of transportation and communication are controlled by the people, so the difficulties of the past no longer exist
仔细阅读原文后发现"communication"应该理解为"transportation",而"equipment"只是为了与"communications"区别而已,这里的重复是由于译者对原文的误解
A: we must continue to strengthen basic research and increase scientific and technological strength and saying power of future development
B: to enhance our ability to make further advances in science and technology, we must continue to expand basic research
重读原文发现:(1)"strength and staying power"仅仅是成对多余;(2)"strength of future development"的意思是可持续发展的能力;(3)"strengthen basic research"和"increase scientific strength"的逻辑关系不是并列而是表目的
由于书中未提供中文原文,所以只能自己理解了= =
(2)删除多余成分
A: he stressed that all State Council departments have an important responsibility in the struggle [against corruption] and said they are in a very important position
B: he stressed that all State Council departments have an important responsibility in the struggle
第二个从句仅仅是简单的复述了第一个从句的意思
A: has the political status of the Shanghai workers undergone any change since Liberation? Yes, it has, and the change is an essential, not an insignificant one, for they have changed from members of an exploited class into members of a ruling class
B: has the political status of the Shanghai workers undergone any change since liberation? Yes, it has, and the change is absolutely fundamental, because they are no longer members of an exploited class but members of a ruling class
可以用一个更有力的表达替换掉这种镜像陈述,不仅包含了中文意思,也体现了强调的语气
3.改变措辞
处理一篇重要的文章时——法律文件,说明文,或政府发言人的正式陈述——可能缺乏专业性去更正明显的无用重复。这种情况下,我们可以换一种措辞使重复性没那么明显:
A: people of all the different nationalities have made enormous contributions to safeguarding the unity of the motherland and promoting stability and unity and prosperity
B: people of all the different nationalities have contributed enormously to safeguarding the unity of the motherland and promoting stability solidarity, and prosperity
A: to maintain steady growth of the economy, we must implement a long-term policy of steady economic growth
B: to keep the economy growing we must implement a long-term policy favorable to steady economic development
4.保留重复
有时,尤其是镜像重复的句子,可能有需要强调而保留的情况:
speaking of the diverse cultures around the world, Jiang said, "It is a good thing, not a bad thing, that the world is a diverse and colorful place."
There is no question that we will win and the enemy will be defeated
为了传递出作者特有的思考方式,可能需要保留这种正反表达,比如毛主席的翻译工作者通常遵循了他的表达方式:
The Chinese people, now at the high tide of revolution, need friends, and they should remember their friends and not forget them
In agriculture, those labour-exchange teams and organizations, which were In the grip of bureaucrats and which harmed the people instead of benefiting them, have all collapsed
然而有时候,保留重复可能不是因为有什么用处,而仅仅是因为译者找不到更好的解决方法:
We must work hard to gain professional proficiency and become skilled in our work
We must strengthen public health services in rural areas in order to improve our people's health
这类文章里遍布这类重复语句,如果删去,会令人对文章的价值产生怀疑
学习笔记15:抽象名词瘟疫与解决办法
抽象名词=“瘟疫”
英语作家一致认为抽象名词的使用会使文章变得晦涩难懂,他们将其比喻为“瘟疫”。
A: The prolongation of the existenceof this temple is due to the solidity of its construction.
B: This temple has endured because it was solidly built.
A 句子用了四个抽象名词,而 B 句没有一个。
抽象名词不仅使句子几乎有两倍长,而且还显得做作、呆板、难以理解。
而中式英语通常用名词来造句:
•A curtailment of both city and town population as well as streamlining of administrative personnel for an enhancement of work efficiencyconstitutes an important aspect in our tasks of adjustment.
•With stability of currency and prices achieved, there had tobereadjustment of industry and commerce as well as improved communications throughout the country, in accordance with the new conditions and demands, so that they could servethe restoration of production.
•The basic requirements of the struggle against Right-leaning conservatism are the further development and consolidation ofthe people's dictatorship in our country, the early accomplishment of socialist transformation, the overfulfillment ofthe state plan for industrial development, and the rapid progress ofthe technical transformation of the national economy.
当然并不仅仅是中式英语倾向用抽象语言,英语母语者的写作中也遍布抽象名词。就像 Gowers 说的那样,“使用抽象名词的习惯将可以简单直接说明的事物复杂化了。”
A: The age distribution of higher education faculty necessitates immediate implementationof innovative early retirement programs.
B: Because there are so many older teachers in colleges and universities, we should immediately introduce innovative programs for early retirement.
A: In such a case, simple application of a screwdriver should be used to tighten screw. Failure to tighten the screw can eventually lead to disengagement of the handle.
B: If this happens, simply tighten the screwwith a screwdriver; otherwise, the handle may come off.
显然,作者试图模仿科学术语,但却没有注意到"application"是无法旋紧螺丝的
A: It's a highly informative presentation on image packaging and impression management for business professionals.
B: It's a highly informative presentation that shows how business executives can dress to create a favorable impression.
如上述例子所见,即使是一个短句中的少量抽象名词,都让读者难以抓住作者想表达的内容。那么在一个长句里,抽象名词增加,读者的理解难度会更大。
而读者又并不会试着反复研读每个句子,而是干脆放弃这个难点,那么,这些抽象名词就彷如一场瘟疫,将读者压倒。
战胜“瘟疫”的方法
1.用 动词 代替 名词
这是最基本的策略,优先考虑这种方法:
A: Adherence to Marxism is vital to China, and so is adherence to socialism.
B: It is vital for us to adhere to Marxism and socialism.
A: otherwise, there can be no achievementsinour work
B: otherwise, we can achieve nothing
A: such behavior on the part of leading cadres will encourage extravagance
B: if leading cadres behave that way, they will encourage extravagance
2.用 动名词 代替名词
动名词既带有名词的性质,又带有动词的性质。
因此,要求作者表达出主语和直接宾语——也就是说,坦白地说出谁在做什么:
A: economic revitalizationwill be an arduous task
B:revitalizing the economy will be an arduous task
A: we shall trans form the national bourgeoisiethrough cooperation with it
B: we shall trans form the national bourgeoisie by cooperating with it
A: we have to concentrate our effortson agricultural reinforcement
B: we have to concentrate on strengthening agriculture
3.用形容词或副词代替名词
有时用形容词(或动词 形容词),或者少数情况下用副词代替名词会是一个很好的处理方法:
A: this accounts for the unsoundness in organization of these enterprises
B: this accounts forthe poor organizationof these enterprises
A: silk undershirts arerich in elasticity
B: silk undershirts are(highly) elastic
A: we must guard against blindness in action
B: we must guard against acting blindly
第二个名词"action"用动名词"acting"代替了
4.将名词解释清楚
在一些情况下,名次结构的含义非常浓缩或模糊,用其它形式替代不能完整的表达它的意思,这时就需要译者将它的意思解释清楚:
A: The practice of indiscriminate abolitiontallies with neither Mao Zedong Thought nor the scientific method.
B: Abolishing all rules indiscriminately is not consistent either with Mao Zedong Thought or with the scientific method.
A: A Beijing computer newspaper even makes the point that China is entering a PC era that is going to be characterized bythe dominance of national brands.
B: A Beijing computer newspaper even makes the point that China is entering a PC era in whichnational brands will dominate the market.
A: it is important to give full scope to the role of experts
B: it is important totake full advantage of the knowledge and abilities of experts
需要特别注意的是,一旦用这种方法处理,必须要正确理解原文含义。
学习笔记 16:名词“瘟疫”的特殊形式在过度使用名词的情况中,有一种特殊形式需要特别注意,就是将它们用 作形容词来修饰其他的名词。
用一个名词作形容词
这种情况在英语中是完全合理的,日常中经常会提到"an army officer","the street corner","drug addiction","an income tax"。
不会有人说要用介词更正这些短语为"an officer in the army","the corner of the street","addiction to drugs","a tax on income"。
还有更长的名词用作形容词:"government department","application form","university education","television set"这些都不会给读者造成理解困难,可以直接使用。
但这并不代表可以任意使用这种方法,除了常见组合外,更多时候还是不要将名词用作形容词,句子会更清楚流畅。
A: The method of work evaluation and workpoints allotment should be changed.
B: The method of evaluating work and allotting workpoints should be changed.
A句中用"work"修饰"evaluation","workpoints"修饰"allotment“,这种组合是之前从未遇过的。导致语句不通顺,理解困难,形容词和名词间的联系不明显。
B句中"work"和"workpoints"明显是"evaluating"和"allotting"的直接宾语,意思清晰明了。
用两个名词作形容词
只要意思浅显易懂,用两个名词作形容词也是可以的。
例如我们没有必要将"a hospital maternity ward"解释成"a ward set aside for the care of maternity cases in a hospital"。
还有很多相似的组合:"water conservancy project" ,"malaria eradication campaingn","minority nationality areas","Peking opera company"等等。
用三个或三个以上的名词作形容词
特殊情况下,三个以上名词作形容词也是可以的,例如"a State Planning Commission document",毫无疑问,首字母大写的三个单词组合起来是一个机构名称。但这种情况是例外。一般是不能超过两个名词作作形容词的。
"lung cancer","cancer research","research project","project design"都是可以理解并经常使用的。
我们也可以说"lung cancer research“,但是我们不能说"the lung cancer research project design",而是要更准确的说"the design of the research project on lung cancer”。
这种情况在中式英语中很常见,用一些名词(或名词 形容词)组合在一起,没有任何介词或连接词。
用功的读者可能再经过研读后最终能理解"the lung cancer research project design"是什么意思,但是像"State key protection relic sites“呢?究竟哪个单词修饰哪个单词?这些遗址又是指什么?
• Power supply business regions
• China's conformity assessment system
• 1998 China Daily Newspaper Group Subscription Consultancy Day
• China's first National Urban Construction Archive Sector Achievements Expo
最后一个例子中,还包含了真正的形容词(first, National, Urban),但是即使如此,像这类高度压缩的短语依然让人只能猜测它们的意思。
这类成串的名词经常出现在翻译草稿中是由于译者逐字照原文翻译的。
中文的特征是可以不需要连接词直接并列,读者依然可以理解其并列关系。但是直接如此翻译成英文,译文就容易引起歧义,令人费解了。
学习笔记 17:名词使用建议1.当两个或三个名词连在一起时,改变其中一个名词的词性:
A: measures adopted by local governments in soil erosion controlinclude the following
B: measures adopted by local governments to controlsoil erosion include the following
被修饰的名词换成了动词,"soil erosion"成为了"control"的直接宾语
A: the Party's expanded leadership capacity in struggles
B: the Party's expanded capacity to lead struggles
用作形容词的名词换成了动词,"leadership","capacity","struggles"三者的关系立即变清楚了
A: "Most of the technology transformation should be placed under the control of the market," Lu said.
B: "Most of the technological transformation should be paced under the control of the market," Lu said.
用作形容词的名词换成了真正的形容词形式
某些情况下,改变一个名词的词性还可以打破长串的名词模式(或名词 形容词):
A: China's meteorological system modernization drive
B: China's driveto modernize its meteorological system
A: the reform of the science and technology management system
B: the reform of the system for managing science and technology
A: the State assets management institutions
B: the institutions responsible for managing State assets
第一个例子将一个名词换成了动词,第二个和第三个换做了动名词,其它名词变成了直接宾语。这样一来,将一连串的单词分开了,语法上来说它们之间的关系也清楚了。
2.可以保留所有的名词,加入一个介词来表达它们之间的关系:
A: during the economic recovery period in the early 1950s
B: during the period of economic recovery in the early 1950s
A: scientific and technological experts now take part in economic and social policy decisions
B: scientists and technicians now take part in decisions on economic and social policy
A: research topic selection should also be guided by the market
B: the selection of research topics should also be guided by the market
这种方法有时也能打破一连串的名词:
A: Golmud is an important personnel and materials transfer center
B: Golmud is an important center for the transfer of personnel and materials
A: Wan Wenpeng, leader of the provincial drug abuse control consultancy expert group
B: Wan Wenpeng, leader of the province's group of expert consultants on the control of drug abuse
A: the China Foreign Experts Employment Contract Disputes Arbitration Commission
B: China's Commission for Arbitration of Contract Disputes with Foreign Experts
3.有时也可以使用连字符将意思表达清楚
例如短语"two noun combinations that form compound adjectives"可以加入介词改成"combinations of two nous that form compound adjectives",也可以加入连字符变成"two-noun combinations that form compound adjectives“,"two"修饰"noun”,两者一起修饰"combinations"。
同样,"mobile phone users"可以改成"users of mobile phones"或"mobile-phone users","an increase in grain and cotton production"可以改成"an increase in production of grain and cotton”或"an increase in grain- and cotton-production"。
有很多使用连字符的形容词是很常见的:"twentieth-century writers","Right-wing attacks","a fur-bearing animal","a low-salt diet"等等,但是除了这些常见的组合,还是使用介词会更好更容易理解一些。
如果要使用连字符,一定要仔细考虑连字符的位置,以及这个组合词的位置,有很多英语母语者也由于粗心造成歧义。
例如,美国托儿所打广告招聘 "3-year-old teacher",附加条件"experience preferred",不如说寻找"teacher of 3-year-olds";美国癌症临床主张女性"perform monthly self-breast exams",不如换成"examine their breasts every month"。
4.如果前三种方法都不行,那么就增词将意思说清楚:
A: In addition, we should encourage workers to make technological innovation, and put forward rationalization suggestions.
B: In addition, we should encourage workers to make technological innovations and tosuggest ways of rationalizing production.
A: The establishment of a local specialties company will enable us to use our foreign exchange effectively.
B: If we establish a company for the export of local specialties, we shall be able to use our foreign exchange effectively.
A:Shareholding restructuring of State enterprises was encouraged during the landmark 15th Party Congress held last month.
B: During the landmark 15th Party Congress held last month, State enterprises were encouraged to restructure by introducing a system of shareholding.
学习笔记 18:代词使用之明确先行词正确使用代词
英语中有许多不同类型的代词,语法书上将其分为七种或八种,我们主要需要注意的是以下三种——通常用来取代名词:
•人称代词:I, you, he, she, it, we, they(以及其宾语格和所有格形式:me/my/mine, him/his等等)
•关系代词:which, that, who/whom/whose等
•指示代词:this, that, these,those
如果没有熟练掌握英语很容易在使用代词时发生错误,而这一点点的错误都会是致命的。
我们最先学习的代词主要是人称代词和"who",根据语法作用的不同,它们的形式也有所不同。
"he","they","who"等是作为动词的主语;"him","them","whom"等是作为直接或间接宾语;"his","their","whose"等是所有格。
使用正确的形式,能展现其在句子中语法结构上的作用,帮助读者理解。而且如果读者要读懂作者写的什么,就必须要确定代词所指代的是哪个名词。
每一个代词,都必须有一个逻辑上的先行词,这个先行词必须是读者能直接认出是代词指代的单词,否则就会使读者产生困惑,或误导读者。
对于先行词的要求:
1.明确地陈述(不要仅仅暗示)
2.不含糊(不要可能是这个词,可能是那个词)
3.靠近代词(不要与代词之间隔很远导致两个单词之间的联系难以辨认)
4.与代词语法一致(人称一致,数量一致,词性一致)
•We have not met with too many difficulties in the course of the reform, and in generalitis proceeding smoothly.
1.明确:介词it的先行词在之前提过了reform
2.不含糊:句中没有另一个单词可以被代词指代
3.靠近:先行词reform与代词it仅仅隔了几个单词而已
4.语法一致:都是第三人称,都是单数形式,都是中性词
•We failed to attach equal importance to both types of work, and there was no proper coordination between them.
1.明确:介词them的先行词直接说出了types
2.不含糊:没有另一个复数名词可以被them指代
3.靠近:先行词types靠近代词them
4.语法一致:都是第三人称,都是复数形式,都是中性词
当先行词没有被明确陈述时
如果一个代词的先行词没有明确陈述出来,有两种情况:a)代词独立存在,b)代词与其他无意提及的单词联系起来了。
而读者理解这个句子也会有两种结果:a)存留疑问,b)误解意思。
a)独立的代词:给读者留下疑问
A: The second question concerns close planting. Itshould neither be spread out too thinly nor planted too closely.
B: The second question concerns close planting. Crops should be neither spread out too thinly nor planted too closely.
由于第二小句中的主语在中文中仅仅是暗示,译者补充了一个代词"it",但是却忽略了先行词。而校正者则用一个准确的名词换掉了代词来作为主语
在这个例子中,读者还可能能够猜出A句中译者的意思是什么,但多数情况,没有先行词的代词会令人非常困惑:
•The shareholding system and joint stock partnership which have been introduced in China over the past few years have also raised doubts among some people. They can get an answer from Jiang Zemin's report to the recently completed 15th National Congress of the Communist Party of China held last week - it is because China is in the primary stage of socialism.
中国处于社会主义初级阶段这件事到底为了解释什么?读者不知道"it is because China is in the primary stage of socialism"的问题是什么。
有一些可能的意思是,股份制和股份合作是必要的因为中国处于社会主义初级阶段;或者另一种意思是,这些制度是合理的因为中国处于这个阶段;再或是,这仅仅是临时的或试验性的因为中国处于这个阶段。
这篇文章可能不是由中文翻译的而是直接用英语写的,所以没办法找到中文原文来确定这段的意思,也提供不了修正句。
这个例子仅仅是为了说明 没有先行词的代词会使整个句子变得莫名其妙的。
b)错误指向的代词:读者误解意思
一个和正确的同伴分开的代词,很有可能会和手边另一个配对,读者就不可避免地误解句子的意思:
A: Minutes of an interim telephone report to Mao Zedong duringhisinvestigation in Handan Prefecture, Hebei Province.
B: Minutes of an interim report telephoned to Mao Zedong during an investigation in Handan Prefecture, Hebei Province.
“his”的正确先行词应该是做这个调查的人——周恩来,但是句中没有提到他,所以这个代词就和句中出现的人——毛泽东联系起来了,读者可能认为是毛泽东做了这个调查。
校正者认为没有必要详细解释这份调查是谁做的,所以就直接省略了代词
A: The Shanghai chapter of the Democratic National Construction Association, the Shanghai Association of Industrialists and Merchants for Progress, and the Chongqing Chamber of Commerce, among others, issued statements in support of the students' patriotic actions and demanded the withdrawal of U.S. troops. This became a broad-based people's movement, a united front against the U.S. and Chiang Kai-shek.
B: The Shanghai chapter of the Democratic National Construction Association, the Shanghai Association of Industrialists and Merchants for Progress, and the Chongqing Chamber of Commerce, among others, issued statements in support of the students' patriotic actions and demanded the withdrawal of U.S. troops. All this became a broad-based people's movement, a united front against the U.S. and Chiang Kai-shek.
“this”不仅可以用来指代一个单词,也可以用来表示前述分句或句子中的整个观点,但在这个例子中不清楚是什么观点。
是这些组织发布报告?还是他们要求撤回外国军队?——都不是,因为这些都不能成为"movement",由于译者没有说出"this"的先行词,所以它只能和靠近它的单数名词"withdrawal"联系起来了。
校正者重读原文后,发现"this"确实是指整个前句的意思,所有社会部门的活动,所以修正这个句子为"all this"。
缺少主语
毫无疑问,中式英语中经常出现代词没有先行词的情况是因为中文的省略性质,相对于英文来说,中文更多靠读者自己抓住理解观点,而不是明明白白地说出来。
程镇球教授指出“如果能从文中推断出主语,中文语法上的主语常常省略了”,他继续说因为英语中不可省略,译者常常给出了一个错误的主语,比如错误的代词或继续让主语不清不楚。
程镇球教授提醒说:“提供符合逻辑的主语是一项非常需要谨慎的事情,需要非常小心。”
但是不要灰心,相反,明确中文中暗含的思想观点,给出明确的英文表达,是译者的责任。不可否认,逃避这种难题,简单地给一个模糊的"it"或"this",期望读者可以用某种方法“理解到观点”,要简单得多。但只有你努力去面对,才能提升自己的专业技能。
学习笔记 19:先行词模棱两可或离代词太远
当先行词模棱两可时
如果一个代词在句中可以不止指向一个单词时,读者可能会不确定究竟哪个才是先行词:
A: Since the purchase of grain is mostly entrusted to state companies, and grain traders are allowed to carry no more than 50 jin with them,theirregulating role is restricted.
B: Since the purchase of grain is mostly entrusted to state companies, and grain traders are allowed to carry no more than 50 jin with them,the traders' regulating role is restricted.
A句中"their"是表示"companies"还是"traders",或者两者都是?
最简单的方法就是摒弃代词,使用名词,宁可重复也不能模棱两可。
当相同的代词出现两次,且代表不同的事物时,先行词会更加含糊不清:
A: The price of one ton of crude oil is 1,300 yuan on the market, while itis only 800 yuan if it is sold to the government.
B: The price of one ton of crude oil is 1,300 yuan ifit is sold on the market but only 800 yuan if it is sold to the government.
句中没有表明第一个"it"代表"price",第二个"it"代表"ton",读者无疑能懂得作者的意思,但仅仅是因为略过了先行词或回顾一遍心中有个大概意思。但改动一下句型,让两个代词都是同一个先行词,就清楚多了。
其实你自己是很难在你写的句中找出模棱两可的先行词的,因为你自己知道你写的什么,但你的读者不知道,你不能让读者误解你的意思,所以一定要写清楚。
当先行词离代词太遥远时
当代词和先行词太过遥远时,读者会难以将两者联系起来,而会将代词与另一个更靠近的单词联系在一起,从而曲解了意思。
人称代词
A: In the meantime, the U.S. government increased its aid to the KMT government. In March 1946 the United States successively organized army and navy advisory teams. On June 17 they signed the Sino-American Lend-Lease Agreement, which transferred 51.7 million U.S. dollars' worth of military equipment to the KMT government.
B: In the meantime, the U.S. government increased its aid to the KMT government. In March 1946 the United States successively organized army and navy advisory teams. On June 17 the two governments signed the Sino-American Lend-Lease Agreement, which transferred 51.7 million U.S. dollars' worth of military equipment to the KMT government.
“they”只能理解为指代"team",但这当然是错误的,他们是不可能签署这种高层协议的,这里将"they"删去换成了准确的主语。
A: Li Yili points out that these northern tribes were still in the early stage of feudalism or slavery when they conquered the Han-Chinese populated areas where feudalism had enjoyed its zenith. The refined literature and the wanton lifestyle of the noble Han Chinese were too powerful to resist, while maintainingtheirown military might became a burden.
B: Li Yili points out that these northern tribes were still in the early stage of feudalism or slavery when they conquered the areas populated by Han-Chinese, where feudalism was at its zenith. The refined literature and luxurious lifestyle of the noble Han Chinese were too powerful for the tribes to resist, while they found it an increasing burden to maintain their own military might.
在读这一段的时候很有可能认为"their"指的是"Han Chinese",读第二遍才能发现最后从句中的"their"是指"tribes"。
然而"tribes"是在这段开头提及的,当读者读到"their own"时,早就忘记"tribes"了,而最近提及的"Han Chinese"貌似也有可能成为先行词。
校正者重复了一遍"tribes",使其比"Han Chinese"更靠近代词,让读者能明显抓住正确的先行词。
关系代词
读者在面对关系代词(which, that, who等等)时,不仅仅会认为其指代的是靠近它的单部分,而是直接在其之前的部分。
如果有任何其它名词插入代词和先行词之间,代词马上就会和其他词联系在一起,无论符不符合逻辑,而句子本身的含义会被完全颠覆。
A: Wanted: Man to take care of cowthat does not smoke or drink.
B: Wanted: Man thatdoes not smoke or drink to take care of cow.
"that"的先行词应该是"man",但却和牛联系在一起了,需要将从句换一下位置,让"that"跟在"man"后面。
A: In October of the same year [1976], the Political Bureau of the CPC Central Committee took decisive measures to shatter the Gang of Four, in whichhe [Hua Guofeng], Ye Jianying, Li Xiannian, and others played an important role.
B: In October of the same year, the Political Bureau of the CPC Central Committee took decisive measures to shatter the Gang of Four,an operation in which he, Ye Jianying, Li Xiannian, and others played an important role.
此句中"which"代表的不是某个单词,而是之前整个句子的意思。这样使用代词必须保证先行词不会被弄错,语法上是可行的,一旦有一个明确的单词出现在关系代词之前,马上就会成为该代词的先行词,误导读者。
此句的"which"应该是指代之前的整个从句"the Political Bureau…took decisive measures等",但是关系代词的习惯是与之前最靠近它的名词联系在一起,也就是"Gang of four"。
因此此句的解释变成了华国锋和其他领导者在四人帮中发挥了重要作用。这里甚至都没有任何歧义,而是完完全全的曲解了这句的意思。
这里不是简单地移动"which"引导的从句位置就可行的,而需要加入一个合适且紧靠代词的先行词"operation"。
A: To enforce the people's democratic dictatorship, we must launch an unremitting struggle against bureaucracy, which is of great importance.
B: To enforce the people's democratic dictatorship, we must launch an unremitting struggle against bureaucracy, a struggle which is of great importance.
"which"指代的是"we must launch an unremitting struggle等",但是却和"bureaucracy"联系在一起了。
此句的意思变成官僚主义非常重要了——与本身的意思完全相反。
当然读者能马上反应过来这是错的,但为什么要让读者有这瞬间的迷惑呢?和上一个例子中一样,我们可以加入一个正确的先行词,重要的不是"to lunch"而是"struggle",所以我们可以加入"stuggle"作为先行词。
另一种解决方法是不用"which",重新造句:
•To enforce the people's democratic dictatorship, we must launch an unremitting struggle against bureaucracy. It is very important to conduct such a struggle.
在用"which"来指代之前的整个观点时,如果你发现先行词模棱两可,或者不是非常明显,那么主要有以下两种方法:
(1)用一个单词或短语总结之前的主旨来作为"which"明确的先行词;
(2)将此关系从句改变成另一个结构。
学习笔记 20:代词与先行词的一致性代词必须在人称、数量、性别上与先行词保持一致,如果不一致,读者是无法认为两者是指同一件事物的。
中国译者很少在人称和性别上犯错,通常是数量上没有一致:
A: If each enterprise goes it alone, they will never be able to improve the quality of their products.
B: If each enterprise goes it alone,it will never be able to improve the quality of its products.
"each enterprise"是单数,而代词"they"和"their"是复数
A: In the past decade we scored great achievements. These should be attributed to the efforts of the collective and not to me, though I played a part init.
B: In the past decade we scored great achievements. These should be attributed to the efforts of the collective and not to me, though I played a part in them.
"these"是复数,而"it"是单数
上述例子中,读者可能略过这些错误而猜出正确的意思,但是有时代词与先行词不一致会产生误解:
A: The Carter administration committed itself to the withdrawal of American troops from Taiwan, but in the meantime they adopted the Taiwan Relations Act, which constituted interference in China's internal affairs.
B: The Carter administration committed itself to the withdrawal of American troops from Taiwan, but in the meantime, it adopted the Taiwan Relations Act, which constituted interference in China's internal affairs.
"Carter administration"是单数,从"itself"也可以看出来,但代词"they"是复数,而这种矛盾让人误导"they"指代的是"troops",因为"troops"也是复数,产生了误解。
学习笔记 21:怎样更正单词的逻辑顺序
错放的短语
这类短语主要是作为形容词或副词使用的,放在错误的位置时,会造成修饰的对象错误:
A: In an article celebrating the 28th anniversary of the founding of the Chinese Communist Party in 1949, Mao Zedong said…
B: In 1949, in an article celebrating the 28th anniversary of the founding of the Chinese Communist Party, Mao Zedong said…
A句中,短语"in 1949"修饰的不是作者明显想修饰的"anniversary",而是更靠近的单词"founding"。因此,句子的意思变成党在1949年创立。将短语移到句子开头,修饰"said",更正句子的意思。
A: over the past decades he has devoted the greater part of his life to developing and spreading improved orange stains among fruit growers
B: over the past decades he has devoted the greater part of his life to developing improved orange stains and spreading them among fruit growers
A句中,状语"among fruit growers"同时修饰了改良品种的改善和推广。但是逻辑上来说,是不能向种植户改善橙子的。B句将"developing"和"spreading"分开来,让状语只修饰"spreading"。
A: Inside the grand Dacheng Palace in the middle of the Confucius Temple, musicianswill play tunes allegedly refined by Confucius, using antique instruments including the stringed guqin.
B: Inside the grand Dacheng Palace in the middle of the Confucius Temple, musicians using antique instruments, including the stringed guqin, will play tunes allegedly refined by Confucius.
"using antique instruments"明显是修饰"musicians",但是A句中它的位置导致它修饰的是"Confucius"。
A: After years of effort, Gao said that soil erosion has been brought under control in 16,700 square kilometers of the affected land areas, or 58% of the total.
B: Gao said that after years of effort, soil erosion has been brought under control in 16,700 square kilometers of the affected land areas, or 58% of the total.
A句中,引导性短语修饰的不是"has been brought under control",而是动词"said"。显得高好像花了数年时间试着说出这个观点。
上述句子读者可能不会长时间的曲解意思,他们可能通过直觉抓住了正确的意思。但是这种正确的理解是建立在他们不管这些错放的词语上的,即使他们的疑惑只是一瞬间,译者也同样有义务将句子的意思正确地表达出来。
错放的从句
逻辑顺序错误的从句比短语出现的频率要低一些,出现的原因也同样是因为修饰的对象错误:
A: So long as we strictly implement the Government Administration Council's Decision on Unifying National Financial and Economic Work, after we go through several months of difficulties, we have every reason to expect that the financial situation will gradually improve.
B: So long as we strictly implement the Government Administration Council's Decision on Unifying National Financial and Economic Work, we have every reason to expect thatafter a few difficult months the financial situation will gradually improve.
从句"after we go through several months of difficulties"是作为状语修饰"will improve"。但在A句中修饰的是"we have every reason to expect"。
A: We should also review our experience frequently and make adjustments in light of the actual conditions when we find problems.
B: We should also review our experience frequently and, when we find problems, make adjustments in light of the conditions.
加粗从句应该修饰"make adjustments"(即,当我们发现问题时做出调整)。然而在A句中,其修饰的是"conditions"(即,根据当时我们发现的问题中存在的条件做出调整)。虽然意思的区别不大,但是B句无论在意思的清楚上还是韵律上都要更好。
学习笔记 22:语序与句子重心的关系一般将作者想要表达的最重要的成分放在句尾,次要的放在句首,其它的细节放在中间。
以下是同一句子的不同形式:
After more than twenty days of exhausting marches and heavy combat, they reached the Dabie Mountains in late August.
They reached the Dabie Mountains in late August, after more than twenty days of exhausting marched and heavy combat.
In late August, after more than twenty days of exhausting marches and heavy combat, they reached the Dabie Mountains.
该句有三个基本成分:一个独立分句(they reached the Dabie Mountains)和两个介词短语(after more than twenty days etc.和in late August),两个短语都是作为状语修饰动词"reached"。
这三种排列方式对于句子本身的意思来说是没有什么不同的,它们的区别在于强调的东西不同:同一件事请突出了不同的方面。应该选在哪一句,就要看译者想要突出的是哪个方面了——换句话说,哪个成分该放在最后。
这个句子出现在解放战争的历史描述中,当校正者遇到翻译稿时,她回顾了一下整个文章。之前的段落是描写中国人民解放军在1947年夏天挺进大别山有重大的战略意义,过程极其艰辛,而例句出现在段落的最终。
在这篇文章中,该句的重点在于,不管多少艰难险阻,革命力量最后到达了终点。他们到达的时间以及这之间的艰辛经历都是次要的。他们的到达,应该放在句子的最后。
初稿中的译文是:
After more than twenty days of exhausting marches and heavy combat, they reached the Dabie Mountains in late August.
校正者认为,状语"in late August"相对来说不是那么重要,将其放在最后,吸引了读者的注意力,导致这场慷慨激昂的事件描述有些虎头蛇尾,所以她将短语放在主要的分句之前:
After more than twenty days of exhausting marches and heavy combat, in late August they reached the Dabie Mountains.
修正句强调了中心思想,但是又太过于忽视日期的重要性。毕竟,历史事件的叙述是按年代顺序的,日期也有一些重要性,应该将其放在句首:
In late August, after more than twenty days of exhausting marches and heavy combat, they reached the Dabie Mountains.
A: It is estimated that our army will reach 5,500,000 at its peak next year.
B: It is estimated that at its peak next year our army will reach 5,500,000.
需要强调的一点是:我们的军队会达到这个非常大的数字
A: We have gained the initiative in Northern Manchuria as a result of our work over the past eight months.
B: As a result of our work over the past eight months, we have gained the initiative in Northern Manchuria.
重要的消息是我们最后获得了北满的主动权
A: Roughly speaking, the government will be in much better financial shape next year than this, despite another enormous deficit.
B: Roughly speaking, despite another enormous deficit, the government will be in much better financial shape next year than this.
这里需要强调的不是消极的一面(ther will again be an enormous deficit),而是积极的一面(we will be in much better shape)
错放的分句
对于分句来说,相对重要性不仅决定其位置,还决定其形式。
如果两个观点时一样重要的,将作为并列句表达,反之,如果其中一个更重要,那么重要的那个会作为主句,另一个作为从句。
并列句用连接词"and","but","or","so"等等连接,从句靠"which" , "when" , "although" , "because" , "if" , "after" , "until"等与主句连接,且通过这些词表达其与主句的关系。
但在中文里,并列关系并不会直接表达出来,中文倾向于不用任何连接词表述两个短语或分句之间的并列关系,所以当面对这种情况时,必须想清楚这些分句之间是否是并列关系,如果不是,那么哪一个应该作为主句。
当考虑清楚了这个问题,那么如何排列这些分句来体现强调就迎刃而解了。
英语中通常最后的位置来表达最重要的观点,所以从句一般要放在主句之前。
下列句子都是按照这种模式排列的:
But as we have often said, although the road ahead is tortuous, the future is bright.
As they marched, the students shouted the slogans "Oppose hunger!" and "Oppose civil war!"
It can be said that ever since our two countries established diplomatic relations in the 1970s, we have followed those principles to the letter.
Then, when they saw that things were getting better in areas where the reform had been carried out, they began to follow suit.
试着改变一下顺序:
But as we have often said, the future is bright, although the road ahead is tortuous.
The students shouted the slogans "Oppose hunger!" and "Oppose civil war!" as they marched.
It can be said that we have followed those principles to the letter ever since our two countries established diplomatic relations in the 1970s.
Then they began to follow suit, when they saw that things were getting better in areas where the reform had been carried out.
可以看到每个例子中,顺序改变后,强调也发生了变化,突出了不该强调的部分。
当一个句子有多种排列方式时,主要的一点是要考虑清楚:应该强调哪个部分?而这个选择取决于中文原文中的意思,原文中强调的是什么,译文中就该突出什么。
正确的强调顺序有两个优点,第一,向读者表明作者认为什么是最重要的;第二,帮助读者跟着作者的思考路线来理解。
当句子中的成分按照正确的顺序体现强调时,读者也就对重要的信息留下了最深的印象,也就能随着逻辑的递进流畅的过渡到下一个句子。
A: We used to serve the old society,although we didn't work directly for the Northern Warlords or for the Kuomintang. So we cannot say we were not influenced by the old society.
B:Although we didn't work directly for the Northern Warlords or for the Kuomintang, we used to serve the old society. So we cannot say we were not influenced by the old society.
B句将从句("although we didn't work directly etc.")提前,将重要的位置留给主句("we used to serve etc.")。这样的顺序改变同样让思考顺序变得更流畅。第一句的结尾直接跟上第二句:我们曾为旧社会服务,所以我们不能说我们没有被旧社会影响。
A:Self-practice is important for all of them [students of foreign languages], no matter whether they will take up the career of teachers or serve as foreign relations personnel. Don't interfere with them when they manage to find time for self-practice.
B: Whether they are going to go into teaching or work in foreign affairs, it is important for all of them to practice by themselves. Don't interfere with them when they manage to find time to do it.
同样,这种改变让思维更顺畅的过渡:对他们来说练习很重要,所以不要打扰他们练习。(英语中没有"self-practice"这种说法)
A: We are going through a period of war and enemy blockade. Nationwide victory, however, is now a foregone conclusion — and it will not be long in coming….Of course, we should not close our eyes to the present situation, just as we should not lose sight of the future. At present, we have yet to wipe out the remaining enemy forces.
B: We are going through a period of war and enemy blockade. Nationwide victory, however, is now a foregone conclusion — and it will not be long in coming….Of course, although we should not lose sight of the future,we should not close our eyes to the present situation either. We still have to wipe out the remaining enemy forces.
B句中的更改将读者的注意力集中在了主句上("we should not close our eyes to the present situation"),和之前一样,相关的观点放在了一起。"present situation"现在放在了句子的末尾,后面直接跟着"we still have to wipe out etc."。
在上述三个例子中可以看到,正确的词序不仅让句子强调了恰当的内容,同时让两个句子的逻辑联系更紧密。
学习笔记 23:悬吊的分词分词是动词的形容词形式,一般的动词的现在分词是-ing,过去分词是-ed。
像所有的形容词一样,分词(或分词短语)应该紧靠着它所修饰的名词或代词。
如果没有的话,我们称之为“悬吊的”。其实在上一章中我们就遇到了一个悬吊的分词:
Inside the grand Dacheng Palace in the middle of the Temple of Confucius, musicians will play tunes allegedly refined by Confucius, using antique instruments including the stringed guqin.
该句中分词短语应该是修饰"musicians",却变成修饰前置名词"Confucius"了,而修改后的句子是将短语移动到了正确的位置上:"musicians, using antique instruments, including the stringed guqin, will play tunes…"
这个例子分到位置错误的修饰词种类中,是因为更正该句只需要移动一下位置就可以了。而悬吊的分词中,更多情况下是没有办法将它移动到该修饰的单词旁的,因为可能它修饰的是一个暗示的词语,而这个词语根本没有在文中出现。即使这个词语出现了,也还需要另外改变语法来更正这个错误。
位于句首的悬吊分词
为了满足逻辑要求,开头的分词短语必须是整个句子的主语(中心动词的主语),这个主语一般是直接跟在分词短语后边的名词或代词。
下述两个例子的分词逻辑上看修饰的不应该是句子的主语:
Using either military or peaceful means, most of the remaining enemy forces were put out of action.
句子的主语是"most of the enemy forces",但这不是"using either military or peaceful means"的人,用这些手段消灭敌军的是"we"(解放力量)。现在分词"using"修饰的是"we",但是"we"不是句子的主语——甚至没有在句中出现,所以"using“修饰了句中出现的主语("enemy forces"),造成了误解。
Conveniently situated, traffic from Jin Hui Tower to Beijing International Airportonly 1/2 hour via the Third Ring Road.
句子的主语是"traffic",但过去分词"situated"应该修饰的是金汇大厦,所以这个词修饰的应该是"Tower",但是"Tower"只是介词"from"的宾语,而不是句子的主语,所以该分词修饰的词成了"traffic",组成了荒谬的语义。
如果作者一开始脑子里的主语(解放力量,或金汇大夏)一不留神换成了另一个(敌军力量,交通),就算读者理解正确的意思,也会感到不舒服,认为有什么错误。思考方向就如火车忽然转换了轨道一样,而要让或者一直形式在正确的轨道上,就要将建立两个概念之间的逻辑语法关系:
Using either military or peaceful means, we put most of the remaining enemy forces out of action.
分词修饰的"we"在句中出现了并成为了句子的主语,第二句的意思与第一句的意思有了直接的逻辑关系
The Jin Hui Tower is conveniently situated, only 1/2 hour from Beijing International Airport via the Third Ring Road.
将分词短语换成了独立分句,逻辑分明
上述例子阐明了两种方法来更正悬吊分词:
1.让分词逻辑上应该修饰的词成为句子的主语;
2.将分词短语换成另一种形式表达。
其它位置的悬吊分词
A: In recent years, China has introduced much technology and equipment from abroad, playing an important rolein improving its petrochemical technology.
B: In recent years, China has introduced much technology and equipment from abroad,and these imports have played an important role in upgrading its petrochemical industry.
A句说的是中国在提高自身的技术中发挥了重要作用,但是这句话应该说的是新引进的技术和设备发挥了重要作用。
分词逻辑上该修饰的词是在句中出现了的:"technology and equipment from abroad",问题是这些词不是动词"introduced"的主语而是宾语。校正者发现没有办法将"techonology and equipment from abroad"变成主语,所以干脆将分词短语改成了一个独立分句。
合理的悬吊分词
某些分词的实际用途是作为介词,连接词,或副词使用的,没有必要紧靠特定的名词,例如一些 惯用结构:
Generally speaking, cows are amiable creatures.
Judging from the ripple of laughter that went through the hall, the delegates did not take the suggestion seriously.
Our business should be concluded by the end of the week, barring unexpected delays.
Owing to unforeseen circumstances, the administration has been obliged to cancel all music classes today.
According to witnesses, it was after midnight when the accident occurred.
Provided there are no objections, the committee will adjourn tomorrow.
这些分词不是修饰句子的主语,因此这些分词是独立的。但是由于其经常被单独使用,久而久之就成为了固定结构,也不违背逻辑。
除了上述例子,某些其余的分词也一般作为抽象意义使用——"concerning", "regarding", "assuming", "allowing for", "granted that"等等。
对于分词是否作为其它作用是没有一个绝对的标准的,这是一个见仁见智的问题,有的人觉得是合理的,有的人则不这么认为。除此之外,同一个词在相近的句子中也会一个作为介词,另一个依然是分词:
Considering the circumstances, the accused could hardly be blamed for her actions.
Carefully considering the evidence, the accused was declared innocent.
第一个句子中"considering"直接作为介词使用,等同于"under","in light of","in view of",其不需要主语;
而第二个句子中,"considering"作为现在分词修饰了错位的名词"the accused"。
所以,译者在这个问题上应该保守看待,如果不清楚这个分词作为什么形式使用,那么最好就将其仍作为分词使用,来修饰恰当的名词。
学习笔记 24:动名词与不定式的主语一致
悬吊的动名词
动名词很少单独作为修饰词,但是经常组成短语来作为修饰语(by pleasing the child, in trying to please the child),这类短语中动名词的主语没有写出来("pleasing"和"trying"的人没有提到)。
当短语位于句首时,没有表达出来的主语与句子表达出来的主语必须有逻辑关系,否则这个动名词将是“悬吊的”,而这里的规则很简单:
句首动名词的隐藏主语必须与句子的主语相同。
Fortunately, by cutting the number of employees, the annual debt of the firm has decreased.
"cutting"的隐藏主语是"the firm",但"the firm"是介词"of"的宾语,句子的主语是"the annual debt",但并不是债务解雇了员工
After gaining some experience, these measures will gradually be introduced in other regions across the country.
"gaining"的隐藏主语是"we(政府)",但是句子的主语是"these measures",措施是无法得到任何经验的
这种结构的错误与悬吊的分词是一样的:读者希望可以有逻辑地进行思考,他们默认作者不会一开始脑子里想着一个主语(却又不说出来),然后忽然一声不吭地换成了另一个,让读者困惑。
更正的方法也同样:可以句首短语的主语作为句子的主语,或将短语换成另一种结构:
Fortunately, by cutting the number of employees, the firm has reduced its annual debt.
"cutting"的隐藏主语("the firm")成为了句子的主语
After we have gained some experience, these measures will be gradually introduced in other regions across the country.
动名词短语换成了从句,将其主语"we"明确表达出来
悬吊的动名词最常出现在句首,但是也可能出现在其它地方:
The Chinese Government and people will never accept violations of or interference in China's sovereignty by directly or indirectlyincluding the Taiwan Straits in the scope of Japan-U.S. defense cooperation, Shen said.
即使在句中,当其跟在句子的中心动词后面时,没有自己的主语的动名词短语,会与句子的主语联系在一起,然而其真正的主语应该是"the Chinese Government and people":
The Chinese Government and people will never accept violations of or interference in China's sovereignty byallowing the Taiwan Straits to be included, directly or indirectly, in the scope of Japan-U.S. defense cooperation, Shen said.
悬吊的不定式
对于不定式的处理规则与动名词一样:句首不定式的隐藏主语必须与句子的主语一致。
In order to ensure achievement of the Party's political, military and economic objectives, Mao emphasized that the Party must first consolidate its ranks.
这是上一章的第7道练习题,当时的考察点是能够发现开头的短语错误地修饰了"emphasized",而为了让短语修饰正确的动词"must consolidate",必须重新排列句子,将短语移到"that“引导的从句中:
Mao emphasized that to ensure achievement of its political, military and economic objectives, the Party must first consolidate its ranks.
由于只要改变位置就能更正这个句子,所以这个例子被分在了位置错误的修饰语一类中,但本质上,这是一个悬吊的不定式,一个没有符合主语一致性的句子。
原句中,"to ensure"的隐藏主语是"the Party",但是句子的主语是"Mao"。
尽管在上例中,更正这个句子必须重新排列句中成分的位置,但是悬吊的不定式并不是每次都能靠这种简单的方法更正:
To lead China into the 21st century, efforts must also be made to promote cultural and ethical progress, to consolidate the Party, to strengthen unity among China's various ethnic groups, and to maintain political stability.
"to lead"的隐藏主语应该是"we",但是句子的主语是"efforts",我们必须给出不定式的隐藏主语:
To lead China into the 21st century, we must also promote cultural and ethical progress, consolidate the Party, strengthen unity among various ethnic groups, and maintain political stability.
本土英语中的悬吊不定式
最常见的是短语"in order to serve you better",为了说服顾客一点点不便实际上是给自己带来好处,这个短语成为了一个经典的例子:
In order to serve you better, please fill out a deposit slip before approaching the window.
"to serve"的隐藏主语是银行,准确地说是窗口的出纳员,但是句子的主语是顾客
而这错误的语法掩饰了一个错误的推论,实际上如果你在窗口花越少的时间填写表格,出纳就能越快接待下一个顾客。
而这个建议却告诉你节约的是你自己的时间,其实更有可能的情况是,你在排队之前填写表格,结果就有两三个人排到你前面了。所以这句话其实应该这样说:
To save time for the teller, please fill out a deposit slip before approaching the window.
不定式"to save"和中心动词"fill out"的主语一样,都是顾客,而且这句话也更为坦诚。但是银行知道如果直接这样表述,会引起顾客的不满。
学习笔记 25:介词短语的主谓一致(不基于动词形式上的)介词短语
句首作为形容词的介词短语会与句中作为主语的名词或代词联系在一起,与句首的分词短语是同样的情况,如果句子的主语与短语要修饰的主语不一致,那么这个介词短语就会和悬吊的分词一样:
With a favorable environment and preferential government policies, any investment is assured of healthy returns.
该介词短语描述的是江西省,却修饰了句子的主语"investment"。
这种问题与悬吊的分词一样,有两种解决方法:找到短语实际上修饰的单词并使其作为句子的主语,或者将短语换成一个独立的分句:
With its favorable environment and preferential government policies, Jiangxi Province ensures that any investment will bring healthy returns.
Because Jiangxi Province has a favorable environment and offers preferential government policies, any investment there is assured of healthy returns.
同样,句首作为副词使用的介词短语会与句中中心动词联系在一起:
After years of effort, Gao said that soil erosion has been brought under control…
句中的介词短语不小心修饰了中心句的动词"said",为了能修饰正确的动词"has been brought",我们必须将其移到"that"引导的从句中:
Gao said that after years of effort, soil erosion has been brought under control…
中式英语中悬吊的介词短语中最常见的是"like"和"as"引导的短语:
A: Just like the Crowne Plaza [in Beijing], all rooms feature an electronic door lock, a private safe, two telephones with IDD…
B: Like the rooms in the Crowne Plaza, all those in the Holiday Inn feature an electronic door lock, a private safe, two telephones with IDD…
A句句首的短语与句子的主语没有逻辑联系,"like"皇冠假日酒店的不是"all rooms"而是文中没有出现的假日酒店。
将"all rooms"替换成"the Holiday Inn"可以让短语匹配正确的主语,这样就是一家酒店与另一家比较:"Just like the Crowne Plaza, the Holiday Inn…",但是这样会难以处理句中剩下的其它成分。最简单的方式不是改变主语而是改变引导性短语,让房间与房间比较:"Just like the rooms in the Crowne Plaza, all those in the Holiday Inn…"
A: As leaders, it is necessary toget a clear picture of the problems and work out measures to solve them.
B: As leaders, we must get a clear picture of the problems and work out measures to solve them.
A句中,开头的短语与"it"没有逻辑联系,读者希望句子的主语会告诉他们谁是领导者——"we","you","they","senior cadres",或任何该术语指代的人物。
学习笔记 26:单独的形容词位于句首的没有组成介词短语的单个的形容词,在修饰的非句子主语时也会产生异议,这类结构比之前提到的其它情况要少,但是也会出现:
Tall and shy, Diana's stylish gowns were recently auctioned off for $5.7 million.
该形容词应该修饰戴安娜,却在语法上修饰了句子的主语"gowns"
由于该形容词所要修饰的词语在句中有出现,我们只要简单地改变一下句子顺序就好:
The stylish gowns of tall, shy Diana were recently auctioned off for $5.7 million.
另一个方式是将形容词放进一个从句中:
The stylish gowns of Diana, who was tall and shy, were recently auctioned off for $5.7 million.
这两种修改语法上都是正确的,但是还有一点小小的问题。
文中这位王妃的身高和所谓的害羞都与拍卖这件事毫不相关,而修正句却让这一部分更突出了。
要让句子逻辑真正正确的唯一方法是将这形容词完全删掉:
Diana's stylish gowns were recently auctioned off for $5.7 million.
,