我把所有的记忆串成一部电影，于是一部悲剧诞生了。
I strung them together into a movie, and a tragedy was born.
要不是老师说不能乱丢垃圾，我早就把你丢出去了。
If the teacher hadn't said no littering, I would have thrown you out.
请关心一下身边的智障儿童，不然你就进精神病院了。
Please take care of the mentally handicapped children around you, or you will be put in a mental hospital.
胖胖的女孩不要担心，婚纱可是可以调大小的。
Don't worry, chubby girls. Wedding dresses can be resized.
请关心一下身边的吃货，一不小心就撑死了。
Please take care of the foodies around you.
漂亮这种东西，三分靠天定，七分靠滤镜。
Beauty is a matter of three parts by nature and seven parts by filters.
鬼是很害怕死亡的，因为它长大了就成人了。
Ghosts are afraid of death, because when they grow up, they become men.
对于对象我看重是是才华，其它的不重要，帅就行了。
For the object I value is talent, other is not important, handsome on the line.
你喜欢看书吗？叔也喜欢看你！
Do you like reading? Uncle likes to look at you too!
收银员说：没零钱了，找你塑料袋吧！
Cashier: No change, please change your plastic bag!
你说走就走，从不考虑我的感受，果然是养不熟的狗！
You walk away without considering my feelings. You are really a dog you don't know well!
好马不吃回头草，因为在回去的路上，它已经饿死了！
A good horse does not eat back grass, because on the way back, it has starved to death!
刚刚下雨了，一辆豪车从我身边经过，溅得我一身水，当时我就发誓，等我有钱了，我一定买一套雨衣，亮瞎你的眼！
It was raining just now, and a limousine passed me and splashed me with water, and I swore that when I got rich, I would buy a raincoat to dazzle you!
（素材与图源于网络，侵权联删）
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