在希腊神话的传说里,只要被长着翅膀的爱神丘比特用箭射中,任何男女就会陷入深爱。但在现实生活中,你相信有这样的“丘比特之箭”,能够让爱情有捷径可循吗?
一位美国心理学家将告诉你:只要回答完这36个问题爱情不仅能够速成,实验还能创造爱情!
美国心理学家 Arthur Aron 博士,在《人际亲密感的产生:实验程序及部分初步发现》一文中,曾设计了一个实验:他让参与实验的陌生人,两两分组坐在一起,在45分钟内,让他们彼此提问并回答36个问题,回答之后让彼此凝视4分钟。最后,通过调查问卷,向参与实验的人,了解实验双方对彼此的亲密感,并进行了追踪调查。
实验结果发现:
有30%参与实验的人,在聊完36个问题后,表示他们和一起参与实验人的关系已经超过了他们人生中和其他人的任何一段;一段时间之后,有37%的实验者,在上课的时候坐在了一起;而有35%的实验者,在问答过后,已经开始约会。还有一对实验者,在六个月后就结婚了,他们邀请了所有参与实验的人,都去参加了他们的婚礼。
Arthur Aron博士的这个“爱上陌生人”的实验,后来被很多人所效仿。一位大学教授Mandy Len Catron,和刚认识的一位陌生男人,尝试了此实验,结果迅速培养出感情,坠入情网。她把自己的经历,在《纽约时报》的情感专栏上发表了文章《只要你这么做,想爱上任何人都可以》,随后这系列的36个问题在各种社交网络上走红,引起了众多人的兴趣与试验,被称之为“爱上任何人的36个问题”。
甚至在情景剧《生活大爆炸》的第八季中,主角谢耳朵和佩妮也坐在一起,玩了一把这个心理实验的游戏。
社会心理学家早已发现,当你对一个人倾诉得越多,在情感上你就越容易依赖并且信赖Ta。而人与人的亲密度,会因为自我披露而提升。借着520,和你身边的人来试试这36个问题吧~
Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
假如可以选择世界上任何人,你希望邀请谁共进晚餐?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
你希望成名吗?在哪一方面?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
拨打电话前,你会先练习要说的话吗?为什么?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
对你来说,怎样才算是“完美”的一天?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
上一次唱歌给自己听是什么时候?唱歌给别人听又是什么时候呢?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
假如你能够活到90岁,并且你可以选择让你的心智或身体在后60年一直停留在30岁,你会选择哪一个?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
关于未来你可能怎么死,你有自己的秘密预感吗?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
列举3个你和伴侣共同拥有的特质。
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
你的人生中最感恩的事情是什么?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
假如可以改变你成长过程中的任何事,你希望有哪些改变?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
用4分钟的时间,尽可能详细地向伴侣讲述你的人生故事。
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
假如明天早上明天一觉醒来能获得任何一种能力或特质,你希望是什么?
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
假如有颗水晶球能告诉你关于自己、人生、未来或其他任何事的真相,你想知道什么?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
有什么事想做很久了?还没去做的原因是?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
你人生最大的成就是什么?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
友情中你最重视什么?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
你最珍贵的回忆是什么?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
你最糟糕的回忆是什么?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
如果你知道自己将在一年内突然死去,你会对目前的生活方式做出一些改变吗?为什么?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
友情对你而言意味着什么?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
爱和感情在你生命里扮演什么样的角色?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
和伴侣轮流分享各自认为对方拥有的比较好的性格特点。各自提5点。
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
你的家庭关系亲密温暖吗?你是否觉得自己的童年比大部分人快乐?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
你自认为与母亲的关系如何?
Set III
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ...
说出3个含有“我们”并且符合实际情况的句子,比如“我们两人在这个房间里都感觉到……”。
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
完成这个句子:“我希望有个人可以跟我分享……”。
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
如果想与伴侣成为密友,请告诉他或她需要了解的重要的事。
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
告诉伴侣你喜欢他或她的什么地方(回答此题必须非常诚实,要说出你可能不会对刚认识的人说的事)。
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
和伴侣分享你人生中尴尬的时刻。
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
上次在别人面前哭是什么时候?自己哭又是什么时候?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
告诉伴侣,你现在喜欢他或她什么地方。
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
有什么事是绝对不能开玩笑的?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
如果你今天晚上就会死掉,而且无法与任何人联系,你最遗憾还没有告诉别人什么事?为什么还没说呢?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
你的房子起火了,你所有的东西都在里面。在救出所爱的人和宠物后,你还有时间可以安全地抢救出最后一件东西。你会拿什么?为什么?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
在你所有家人当中,谁的死对你的打击会最大?为什么?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
向伴侣提出个人生活中的一个问题,问对方遇到这样的问题会怎么做。同时也请对方告诉你,在他或她看来,你对这个问题的感受是什么。
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